


Voice on the other side of the door

by Monopolytophat



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5828359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monopolytophat/pseuds/Monopolytophat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am the caretaker of the Ruins under mt. Ebott. Now there is the door that leads out to Snowdin. It's a large door, and one day, I hear a knock, and...well...I'm glad he knocked, and I answered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An introduction to my life

Long ago, two races ruled over the earth:

Monsters and humans... And I was queen over one of them.

It's easy to forget than I was once a queen. Not when the beginning of my life was so humble. Of course I never saw myself above any other monster that lived in our kingdom, his kingdom. I am no better than any other creature here, still we tried our best to lead our kingdom. Despite everything Asgore was and still is a good leader. He loved his people as if they were his own family. For a long time our kingdom, or race flourished with the humans, but we possessed something they didn't. Magic a form that they themselves could not use. They were scared of us, our abilities, sometimes the way we looked ourselves played a big part of of anything the humans made a choice. This world wasn't big enough for both kinds to coexist, and something had to be done about it.

Then the war came and nearly wiped our people out of existence. My own family, Asgores family, wiped out by the hand of man. When they still had the ability to use a little magic, the humans sealed us away, like some kind of wild animal. I know they did this out of fear, had they only talked to us, instead of attacking, I am sure we could have found a solution peacefully... but alas none of that matters now.

Once the war was over, for a time we tried to rebuild, to take what fate had dealt us and shape it into something workable. Something liveable. We called it home, Asgore's idea, god how that man was terrible with names. With what supplies we had, with what little resources we could conjure up, we built a shabbily build a new kingdom. A ghost of our race's once proud heritage.

Then monsters started to fall. The move, all the loss we all suffered, and the rebuilding had finally took it's toll on our people. They were losing hope, and that is dangerous to a monster. Monsters often wonder, why hope is so important to us. Well our HP has a lot to do with that. You see HP is an acronym, it stands for hope. The higher your hope is, the stronger your spirit is. The strength of your spirit, will help you overcome any obstacle in your path, at least this is true for monsters. Our souls are linked to our hope- it fuels our magic. It is what drives us. Humans gain power through LOVE. But this is a conversation for another time.

Now the lower you hope is, the weaker you spirit is, the easier it is to give up. To let things hurt you. Once your Hope falls to zero, the magic that sustains you will, fade, and you will become undone. Your mass will shatter into dust. This is why once they started to lose hope we tried to think of ways to keep that from happening. We tried building on ward and outward, along the way discovering, the underground snow forest, we soon called Snowdin, the Waterfall- the lava lands- which was swiftly renamed hotlands by Asgore, and finally settled in a new capital near the edge of the barrier. We called it NEW HOME...Once again this was Asgores doing, but it was still not enough. Monsters continued to fall from loss of hope.

By that time we settled in New Home, I found out I was expecting my first child, my love, my hope- Asriel. In the darkest time, the event of a royal birth gave our people something to think about. Something to hope for. Oh god thinking about it now hurts my heart. He was such a wonderful child. Never a problem, always wanting to help. He was a good boy, and prince. Like his father he cared for any and everyone who lived underground. It was really no surprise he was the one to find the first fallen human since our imprisonment.

My darling Chara...They were an interesting child. There's a reason that no one climbs mount. Ebott. If not for the legends of monsters, then surely the harshness of the climb in and of itself. So it's odd enough to find experienced hikers and climbers up these ways...even more so a child... Whatever the reason the mountain called them, they never told us.

Regardless, we were welcoming to them. There was enough war, and fighting. This small human had been through enough, the look in their eyes could tell anyone. So My husband and I took on the task of raising this fallen human. Once again the underground was filled with hope. The hope that one day we could broker peace with the humans, as we had tried so long ago.

Chara, was a quiet child. Kind, and ever curious, but underneath that was an intelligence that could be almost frightening at times. They kept to themselves mainly, only ever daring to come out of their shells with Asriel around. We chalked it up to how they were treated on the surface. This and little social cues were the only tellings we ever had. They were always polite- always proper- and whenever me or my husband made a move that was deemed too fast or moved in a way that was deem unwelcoming- they'd flinch or react as if we were to raise our hand to them. It was disheartening to think someone would mistreat a child, but the evidence was clear...

One time they were being tutored on history by our then captain of the knights. He was teaching them about the war, and the subsequence-al barrier. I remember coming in as the Captain tried so hard to calm them. ' It isn't right- it isn't fair- those humans should be buried down here- not us!' They cried. Never had I seen them so vocal or angry. It was then we learned of their hatred of humanity- their want to wipe out the creatures that hurt them so thoroughly. It scared my husband and I...

It was troubling, but like fools we tried to brush it off, a little after that my husband fell ill one day after eating a treat, made by our children. A gift nothing more but it had Asgore laid out for weeks, poison was the verdict. We found out it was a simple mistake, our Chara and Asriel mistook, Butter Cups, for CUPS OF BUTTER. It was easy for one so young to make the mistake, and they did not know of the consequences. Had they of, I am certain they would have not done such a thing in the first place.

….But...One thing still sticks out in my mind. It was during Asgore's recuperation...As normal Asriel showed great remorse for what he had done... But my darling child Chara...I remember...them...laughing...Just laughing it off, as if it were a joke, it was almost chilling. I feel... that they were trying to mask their horror, that they felt truly afraid they had nearly killed their adoptive father, and fell back on the only thing their young mind could think of... That is what I feel at least.

We tried to push past it. We showed them love, taught them kindness and let them grow with us. Alas their stay with us was short, but wonderful all the same...One day...oh god thinking about it now hurts, but I shall try to recount this. One day...they came to us with a rash around their mouth. It puzzled us at first, but that was only the beginning. It only got worse from there. Next came the blisters, I've never seen Asgore so terrified in my life, not even in war, made that man move like he did when Chara collapsed in my arms. Then...Well I won't get into the details, god knows you would never want to experience something like that... Not to you, your enemy, or...your sweet child.

That day the underground lost hope, Asriel lost his sibling, and we lost our child. Fate had taken another thing from us, but it wasn't the only thing to be lost that day...In his grief, Asriel took Chara's soul and absorbed it. Humans cannot absorb human souls, the same goes for monsters, but a monster can absorb a human soul. In Chara's final moments, a second of delirium I am certain, they asked to see the flowers in their died before this request was fulfilled. Asgore and I begged, and pleaded for Asriel not to do such a thing, but he ignored us, and transcended to a monster with unfathomable power. He gently scooped up the body, and went to fulfill, Chara's last request.

He passed through the barrier with ease. For all his power, it would take much more to break the barrier. Of course, we did not think about it, we just wanted our son, Asriel to come back alive...But that too was not to be. He was gone all day, only returning at sunset. He was injured, dying, still holding their siblings body close to his. In a sad we it was not surprising. The humans often attack what they do not understand, and surely a monster, with power carrying the lifeless body of a child would come across as though it had attacked them. Had they had stopped and thought about it...well it didn't matter...did it not...they attacked him, and yet he never rose a hand to defend himself. Even with the power that some would consider a titan...he never hurt anyone...or did anything to defend himself. Just gather their sibling and left. The whole trip was for nothing, it gave absolutely nothing, he did not lay Chara to rest in their village. We did not broker a peace to humans. All it did was take my sweet child.

When guards told us of Ariel's return, we were greeted by the sight of our dying child. In our arm, he faded into dust, spreading out among the flowers. In one day I lost my son, my child, my hope.

We all took the loss in different ways, some lost their hope, others grieved in private and looked towards my husband on what to do. I needed the support of my love, he...He became something else. In his grief, I am certain he went mad. ' Any human that falls down here will be killed, their soul harvested, and we will use this to free us! Then we will take revenge against humanity, and wipe their clean off the face of the earth!' It gave them all hope, freedom. A forced peace- through bloodshed.

I didn't recognize him, no anyone, this was frenzy, it was madness. There was no time to grieve once the first human fell- they were slaughtered. Asgore could have stopped it right then, taken the soul cross the barrier peaceful taken the 6 other souls he need to shatter the barrier and make peace finally...but no- he let his hatred decide for him.

I fled. I could not bear it any longer. They rejoiced at the death of an innocent human, trivializing it as nothing more than a rung on a ladder to climb for freedom. True some held their concerns about- well everything- but the prospect of freedom was an overwhelming idea.

I fled to the only place I felt truly safe, truly at peace. Away from Asgore- away from cities, away from everything.

In hindsight, it is rather funny I fled to the only place I ever felt safe. Where we started from, our old home...I was a coward, but I do not regret the action I took. I sealed the door, the same way they sealed us away, no one can enter only be let out. It was a weaker version of the spell but regardless. It served it's purpose.

When I left I took what remained of my child, and the remains of Chara. I did not want them to remain underground like that, like some ghoulish reminder of our past, forever in limbo in some basement. They deserved to finally be at peace, if not in this life than at least the next. I buried them under a patch of flowers, which I tended to everyday. For a time, all was peaceful but that never lasts.

Then they fell. The fallen ones, the souls that soon Asgore would gather. I often wonder...if he even knew anything about them, or wanted to learn anything about them when they came to him. More than likely not. It would serve as a reminder of his Sins whenever he'd reflect upon his knowledge.

Each was so different than the last but held one thing in common, determination. It was strangely familiar, like being...almost like being with Chara again.

Because I became the caretaker of the ruins- keeping it's upkeep, I took them in under my wing. I could not let them hurt them. I could not let humanity suffer like we had. We, down below, were much better than that. So I took it upon us to take care of the ones who fell.

I did not wait long until the first one fell, when I came to stay in the ruins.

They were a strange child, they tried to prove so strong, as if they weren't afraid of anything. But that's what they were, scared...They were scared of everything, it reminded me so much of Chara. They were trying to stay brave in the face of uncertainty...But they knew they did not belong there. With much convincing they left my home. For days I hoped they would change their mind, or perhaps my people would have welcomed them with open arms...? Twas all foolishness. Word spreads quickly, and it was proclaimed, another soul had been harvested.

After a while another child fell. They seemed younger than the first one but they had a very high moral code. If they were in the wrong they would apologize, but should you be the wrong one they would hold you up to a standard and come to expect the best of you. The little dancer was so talented for one so young. When they heard about what happened to the others from the monsters in the ruins, they felt it was their moral duty to guild Asgore to the right path...They did not survive their meeting with him.

Determination fuels some, but for others, sometimes there are more forces at work. Sometimes they forget about the cost but rather the reward. One child, the fourth one to fall wanted to push through to the end. To get to the barrier. From what I gathered this child made it all the way to Asgore, through pure force of will, no fighting or anything else...The persevered over adversity. In the end that did not matter at all...They died like the others.

The fifth child to fall was by far the sweetest creature in all of creation. They cooked me dinner, could you imagine- me being taken care of, but it was true by far no one could ever compare to this kind sweet child. Had I have asked they'd probably be still alive and with me right now...But I didn't and for some reason, they believed themselves a burden upon me. So they left. From what I heard, they conquered any problem with kindness and love. Never once did they raise their weapon to fight, no, they used it to create...Unfortunately they met with Asgore, and he did not grant them Mercy...I would not have been surprised if the child comforted HIM in their last few moments.

The final child that had fallen was one that was Just and true. It did not take them long before the story of the other fallen reached them. The innocent blood on the king's hands was enough to move them to action.' How dare he hurt another, this king shall be brought to justice for his crimes.' Before another word could be uttered, they left me. Unless provoked, they would not rise their weapon to harm an innocent. If anything only when fighting seemed to be the only answer did they retaliate. They made it to the king. And fell before him.

That only leaves me now...I tend to the flowers- I look after the ruins and old home, finally I upkeep the seal. My life is in no way glamorous, but it is mine. I do not have the pressures of a kingdom anymore, save for the empty one, no matter how few froggits, spiders and whimsums there are. I am at peace, though it is a lonely one.


	2. Who's There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the routine changed

It was a little past dawn when I awoken. I have always been an early riser. Well before I became queen. Instead of tending to the monsters underground, or my beloved children, I awake with a more subdued purpose. Nothing like ruling but a purpose still important to me, at least.

I shuffle over to my dresser, getting changed for the day. Nothing impressive, just simple clothing. I make my bed, I fold my clothes and I turn off the lights walking out into the hallway. I pause to look at myself in the mirror. I look so tired. Nothing like I did before the heartache, no joy, just sadness...Maybe loneliness as well. It is well worn on my face, making me look my age, as opposed to how I appear. I know I shall never age, so it is impossible to look older than the day Asriel died, but still I feel it, older than I could ever imagine.

I continue my walk to the kitchen and fix myself a simple meal. Nothing fancy, I have never been a monster of rich foods, just enough to sustain me through the day. I have a lot to do and sitting about will never do. I had a quiet breakfast and then I was off to do my chores.

The first was cleaning the household, I am normally a tidy person so this was done relatively fast and with ease. Once done I locked up and headed out to the ruins of Old Home. Currently there are no monsters that really reside in old home- save for the low level monsters- such as Froggits, Whimsums, Vegetoids,Looxs, Moldsmals, Migos and the visiting ghosts here and there, because of this the ruins are not in the best of upkeep. It is not for lack of trying, for the creatures try so very hard. Rather the inability to perform the upkeep. All the creatures are small and few- since the larger and stronger monsters have moved on to beyond our little home. Still I take pride in it's upkeep, and scavenge on the side so there is no reason to leave the ruins at all.

Once finished, I recalibrate the puzzles that litter through the main corridor of the ruins. It is a thankless job, and to be honest there is no real reason to do so. All monsters here are familiar with the puzzles, and it has been long since the last human has fallen. To be honest such relics are dangerous and I worry about someone getting hurt constantly. That being said, I still manage their upkeep, mainly due to the fact these are our history, our culture and to let it fall into disrepair it to forget where we all come from. Call me old fashion but I don't have it in my heart to disassemble any of them. Besides once in awhile for fun I like to solve them, tee hee, I may know them by heart but it's good to revisit the past to simpler times.

By the time I finish, I decide to take a break, by then it's noon. Normally and always I go to water the flowers and visit with my beloved Chara. Unlike Asriel who is... I cannot do the same, so I visit their resting place and water the flowers. I sit eat a meager lunch and talk about my do so far. I feel...they would appreciate the company, even though I know they do not know of it. Once I am finished I clean up and bid my farewells. I will visit them tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. If I do not tend to the flowers and them, who will.

A bit more cleaning and upkeep, normally more solemn after lunch and by then it's time to go bug hunting for dinner, if I have ran out the day before. I use to go and get them from a charming little snail farm way back when, but now I do my own food catching. In a way, it feels good to make food from what you catch or grow yourself...even if you have no one to share it with.

I then return home put everything away, as per the norm and by then all that is left is taking care of the seal. It is a pretty quiet affair. Going down the long dark and silent hallway to the door. I suppose it is selfish of me to want anything more. I am undeserving of it. A coward for running from everything I knew and loved, but still, it is my duty to maintain the seal to the ruins. I do not want another child to fall to the hands of Asgore. I will not let another child die.

Once the seal is maintained, by reapplying my magic to the seal, I clean the hallway then head upstairs for some reading and downtime before dinner. Maybe knitting perhaps or maybe something-

"Knock, knock." I froze breath caught in my throat, what in the world. I swallowed as I turned my head, ready to send away whoever was there but instead I got quite the surprise."Who's there." It took me a second to realize they weren't trying to come in, but what on earth were they doing." Toby- Toby who?" I cover my mouth to keep silent. It had been so long since I heard another monster speak so strongly, clearly and openly. If only they were not," Toby or not Toby- that is the question."

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing so hard, covering my mouth now with two hands. Oh goodness it had been so long since I had heard a good joke. Large tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to keep my silent laughter in check. My shoulders shook as I tried to compose myself, I listened to the other monster laugh at their own joke. " Okay another one- Knock, knock- Whose there- Snow- Snow who? Snow use I forgotten my key." Oh this monster was hilarious. Goodness gracious- how can I keep from laughing out loud!

I allowed myself silent snickers as he, for I had come to realized the other monster had to have been male with such a deep voice, laughed boisterously at his own joke. How could someone be so funny, I couldn't help but wonder. He composed himself as he started to, KNOCK them out. Each one just as funny as the last. I took a seat by the door and listened to his mellow voice. When he laughed, I did as well so not to alert him to my presence just yet. I found myself rather shy, it had been so long since I had exiled myself from the majority of monster kind, this new monster made me feel intimidated. It's funny to think a boss monster such as I could feel this way, not even with Asgore had I felt like this, but here I was hiding away like a child, awake past curfew, listing to him talk. Even so I was content with this.

I found myself more and more enthralled with him, or rather his jokes as he spoke on, his set up, his delivery, his punch line. It was all so funny, I cannot really do it justice. Slowly the hours passed, soon it was time for him to go," Welp, time ta head home, I'll knock a few more out tomorrow, maybe it'll help with my WOODEN performance." I cover my mouth as he chuckled. Soon I heard the tale tell sound of crunching snow, and he was gone. I felt sadly alone again and disappointed. I almost wanted to ask him to stay, but then...he'd find out that I had been listening in on him during his private performance. How would he have taken it...Most likely not well, but maybe tomorrow I could gather the courage and answer his jokes...?

I got up and stretched, my legs numb with how long I had been sitting there. It had been a while, I slowly walked down the hallway taking a backward glance. I wondered who was he, his voice was unfamiliar, yet held a strange familiarity to it all the same. I pondered this as I climbed the stairs and looked at my wall clock, I grimaced at the time, it was getting late and I should have started dinner an hour ago. Still, it was rather nice to spend the afternoon with someone, even if he didn't know I was there.

As I walked to the kitchen I couldn't stop thinking about the mystery comedian. What had possessed him to knock on my door, what had convinced him to start up those funny jokes ( not that I was complaining) I let my mind wander and found myself hoping that he'd return. Maybe when - no if- if he did, I could join him too?

Today I had been to sheepish, heh I need to remember that one, to join him, but he said he'd be back. So maybe, instead of listening in this time I'd answer him. My hands shook a little as I cut up some vegetables. Goodness why was I so nervous, was my self imposed isolation getting to me. Most likely, even though there were indeed monsters in the ruins, they were few and not very social so any run in's I had with them were few and over fairly quickly. Meaning I was a bit rusty talking to others at this point.

I allow myself to stop and relax for a moment. I just need to gather the courage to talk to him. If he returns. This may have only been a one day thing. I sigh as I continue to cook a simple dinner, a garden soup and slice of Snail pie. As I sat at the empty table I stirred my dinner lazily, resting one hand on my palm, replaying this afternoon. As I did all this self doubt and confidence were at war with each other.

What if he didn't want the company, why would he practice alone- I mean he had to be alone- why answer your own jokes.

Nonsense maybe he wants the company but has no one to share it with.

No it'd be rude to impose on his solitude just because I'm lonely...

He may be lonely...both of us could be lonely together..?

I had to smile at that last line of thought as I finished my dinner. I collected my plates and cleaned up, put away the leftovers and wash up for bed. All the while the voice played through my head. As I shut off the lights and head to the bedroom. I change into my nightgown, but I still feel a bit restless. I can't help it, today was different from my normal routine.

So I head back into the kitchen and make a warm glass of Cocoa and head back to bed. As I took in the aroma of warm chocolate an idea strikes me. So I grab an empty journal and pen and started to write down all the jokes I know, careful to not include the ones he told today. When he did return I'd be ready. Hopefully I'd entice a laugh from him too.

As I set the book aside, once I had finished writing, I laid back, the warmth of the cocoa doing it's trick as usual and lulling my into a warm relaxed state. I yawned and leaned back into my pillows, my eyes getting heavier. I leaned over and switched my lamp off and closed my eyes waiting for sleep to take me.

I whisper a good night to my children, the fallen, and let my thoughts drift to earlier today. As my breathing relaxed, I hoped silently for him to was the first time in a long time someone brought laughter into my life. And who is to know, maybe this time I will not be so scared to answer his jokes. Then finally we can laugh together, instead of side by side. I feel myself smile as I allowed myself into dreamless slumber.


	3. Into the Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally she got the courage to say something.

I awoke earlier than normal.

Perhaps it was the idea of hearing him again, or perhaps it was just the excitement of yesterday, whatever the reason, I was up well before dawn and started my morning rituals. All the while wondering if he would be at the door again. The mystery comedian.

I was quick to get change, and grabbed the journal. This morning I forgo the usual, checking myself in the mirror and instead hopped to fixing breakfast.

As I cooked, reheating leftovers from the night prior, I found myself wondering once again about my mysterious voice on the other side. I had to giggle, oh how silly I was being. One would think I had a schoolgirl crush on him. Still. Anyone who loves such old jokes cannot be all bad, can they? Once I finished my meal, I all but rocketed through my chores both morning and noon in the span of a few hours.

Once noon hit, I once again found myself watering the flowers at Chara's resting place, and as I promised, enjoying a meal with them. I told them about the stranger at the door, about his sense of humor and about how he was supposed to return. I talked about how today I may engage in actually talking to him. Soon enough I finished, then I bid them farewell, but as I turned to leave. Right before I exited, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. It was that flower again.

I heaved a heavy sigh. A long time ago, a little after I had left Asgore's side, and new home's madness. Back when I first started my care of the ruins, this flower, golden like all the other flowers among my care but with the mind of a monster, appeared to me. At first they seemed benevolent, good hearted and maybe a little lost and confused. I took pity on the small creature. At first but Soon enough, like so many others, he showed his true colors as the manipulative horrible creature it was.

I soon found it stalking me, sometimes in my own home. Sometimes, just watching me from afar. Other times I caught it attacking the weaker poor monsters of the ruins. Whatever it wanted, I am sure, I wish to be no part of , there were it's moments when it was solemn, like now. They never insulted or attacked, or anything of the sort, here among the golden flowers. No he held himself respectfully, and never once sullied this sacred place. It was odd, jarring really, so out of place. Our eyes caught, mine flickered towards the flower patch, as if a dare for him to try anything. When I looked up he was gone. I still have his eyes burned into my soul, that empty yet contemptful look.

I shook it off as turned and walked home. Trying to shake off the feeling of being watched. Every time I spotted that flower took a long time for me to be free of the feeling of being watched, or pursued.

The walk home was quiet as I pondered all this, and putting away everything was equally uneventful. All there was at this point was to reapply the seal and do some last minute cleaning, if I so choose. I pause at this thought and for a brief moment wondered what I was to do. That monster was a problem. True it had yet to kill a single creature underground, but I got the strange feeling it was much more dangerous than it let on.

I walked down the stairs, and hall, still lost in thought. Thinking of a course of action weighing heavily on my mind. I stopped at the door, automatically cast the spell for the seal, for I have done it so many times before and sat down in thought. Wondering how to either capture or talk to it. Perhaps if I learn more about the strange flower creature, I would know the best how to deal with it.

" Knock Knock." The sound of someone knocking on the large door, spooked me out of my thoughts and I let loose a small sound, almost giving away, that I was sitting behind the door." Whose there-waiter- waiter who- waiter minute let me tie my shoe laces." His laughter filled the small space as I tried to keep my own laughter in check. In my thoughtful state I had forgotten about him. It then struck me, he had returned just as he had said he would.

I sat back down and listened to him, telling jokes for a while, all the while, trying to pluck up some courage to say something to him. Alas I could not and another night passed without me saying so much as a word to him. It felt a little frustrating to be honest. There he was, and here I was...Hiding again. No tomorrow I will say something to him.

That's what I'll say the next day, and the next day, and the day after that. Before I knew it, I had gone an entire month without speaking to the mystery monster. As each day passed a tried and failed to say anything to him, but no, at the last moment I would always let some little fear overcome being said I did, however, learn a thing or two about him.

He's witty, and incredibly intelligent, some of the word play he comes up with, would put most scholars to shame. He's prone to lapses of deep thought at times. He's fast to the uptake and quick at thinking on his feet. Sometimes he's not alone. Someone else joins him, but for the life of me I do not know whom seeing as the other voice is father away and prone to shouting.

To be honest this whole situation I've fallen in is rather frustrating. To be so close to someone, who may be willing to talk to you, aside from the simple good morning, but never hold a conversation is as off putting as it sounds. So finally, after much mental preparation and steeling my resolve to talk to him, I picked a day to speak with him.

The night before I feel as though my stomach is doing backflips. As I lie awake in bed that night, I can't help but wonder how he would take to a partner to his jokes. Will he laugh, will he run...Who is to say. I look over to my clock and sigh, it's late but I am here wide awake. I wonder if he is too. No, the speed at which he talks tells me he is one to take things easy, no doubt having a good night's sleep. I stared up at my ceiling, finally after a long time, and possibly out of boredom I fell asleep.

When the next morning arrived, I tore through my chores as fast as I possibly could. Excitement filling me and making me determined. It was today, I was sure of it, today was going to be the day I finally speak to him. Never one to skip over my beloved chara, I quickly apologized to them, hastily watering the flowers. I told them, today I would speak to the. Maybe if they were alive, they would be playfully ribbing me about my childish fears, and my attempts to prolong meeting him in 'person'. It was a rather one sided conversation to say the least, but I pray in time they will forgive me.

Finally I head home. Skipping lunch and grab my impromptu joke book and sat down and waited. Then waited...then waited...I was beginning to lose hope he would not show today, despite him becoming a rather regular. When I heard a familiar. " Knock Knock." I had to be brave. I just had to say something today regardless of what would come...I can't keep going on like this.

Mustering all my courage and trying to sound as calm as possible I answered back before giving him a chance to," Who is there?" There I had done It! I felt almost giddy for my courage, but I soon realized he did not answer back. For a moment I was scared he had run off when he did not answer right away. I looked down, feeling a weight in my heart. My eyes watered, the only company I had, and I chased them away, what a fool I was. Had I not answered-

" Dishes."

My heart leapt into my throat, he answered back, and with a new one. I could barely contain my excitement any longer, it was leaking into my voice." Dishes who?" Surely I had to be dreaming, could he really be answering me back?

" Dishes a really bad joke." For the first time since I had heard him, I let my laughter spill forth, no longer afraid to hold it back. Soon I heard him laugh again as he knocked." Knock Knock." Oh how long I had waited, now to actually be doing this here. It was almost like a dream come true.

" Who is there?"

" Dumbbell."

" Dumbbell who?"

" Dumbbell doesn't work that's why I knocked!" Oh wow, how can anyone contain their laughter to something so funny I shall never know.

It went on and on, for hours, until finally, I crack open my own book, flipping through the pages and stopped at one of my own. This back and forth building up my courage once more. So I thought, that maybe I could give it a whirl. In the lull of the joke telling, I leaned forward and knocked.

" Knock knock." He answered back without hesitation but rather with much vigor.

" Whose there?"

" Little old lady?"

" Little old lady who?"

I pause to make the line more dramatic. Then finally go in for the kill, metaphorically speaking of course." Oh I didn't know you could yodel." I pause, waiting and was rewarded with deep hearty laughter. I heard the sound of something hitting the door, as the man laughed. His laughter seemed to have gotten closer somehow.

" Man lady you are good!" I had to blush, he was the professional, not I. Still we shared a laugh and continued on. Trading back and forth jokes with one another, it was nice to finally have some real company.

Soon enough the jokes drizzled into small talk, mainly him for apologizing for intruding upon me if I felt so, I told him it was alright and I enjoyed his company. Then we played a round of 20 questions. I asked him something about himself, he did the same for me. We both agreed, that when we did meet physically we would trade each others names. Until then I was known as Little old lady, and he was known as the punny comedian. We talked, well into the evening.

Eventually, he had to leave. He had a younger brother who would get upset should he miss his bedtime story. I found it rather endearing that he cared for him. We both exchanged goodbyes, and I could hear him shuffling to leave.

Before he left, and even though I knew he would return, I felt compelled to ask if he would come back tomorrow. There was no hesitation replied with a hearty," Of course gotta keep knockin' them out somehow." This man is really interesting to say the least and I was happy to have finally made a friend.

As I get up and stretch, I give the done one final pat. Turning to leave I spot it again. The flower creature. It looked very angry with me. I open my mouth to speak to it, but it quickly retreated into the earth before I could utter a word. I quickly walk over to the spot it was moments before, but it was gone. Oh well, it would return, it always did.

I climbed the stairs and head off to the kitchen to start supper.


	4. A Talk

Have you ever had a dream, only you didn't know it was a dream...?

That's what I had last night... It was a wonderful dream. A bit embarrassing, but still a warm pleasant dream. Allow me to elaborate, oh and please do not judge me harshly for what I am about to tell you...

I slowly awoken in a nice large bed, I heard birds singing outsides my windows. For a moment I thought I was back at my old home, or new home as it were. Yawning gently I turned my head slightly at the back of my bed partner and giggled softly at his rhythmic snoring. He...didn't sound like Asgore...and the light was too strong for us to be underground. I took a deep breath and sighed happily, clean fresh air. I leaned over and gently shifted out of bed- 8 o'clock. It would be considered sleeping in, for me at least.

I walked over to the window and moved the curtains to take in the view of the small field before me. Behind me however I heard a soft groan. I couldn't help but laugh," lazy it's time to get up. " I was greeted by roll of the body and a pillow firmly placed on his head. He looked to be almost willing himself back to sleep.

" It's far too early for me to be up- Tori it's Saturday... Just let me die- go on without me, tell the kid I've had a good run. Take care of my brother for me." It was my friend from behind the door, was friend, now lover. I giggled once more as I made my way to the bed and leaned over him. He shifted slightly but did not make any further movements.

I placed both hands on my hips and towered over him," really, alright but I guess that means your favorite pancakes and black coffee are out the window..." No movement, I would have to pull out my big guns on him. I lean further in and whisper." That also means missing saying goodbye to my child and your brother while I send them on errands to give us the house to ourselves... And me possibly taking you up on your offer to show me a ...good time...In every room of our new home, my love..." I purred out the last of the words. That did the trick as he slightly shifted.

" Your not...yanking my chain are you..Just to get me out of bed at 8..." I move down to his back and kissed his spine. I felt him shiver lightly at the soft touch. The pillow moved ever so slightly as I saw only a white dot among darkness." Tori...that's not fair..." He gave a soft little groan. I stood up again and gently traced my finger down his back, stopping short of his pelvis. He let lose another groan, as I eyed him, had we been alone we have done more along time ago- but we were not and I do not wish for my child or his brother to hear us. He rolled over, though I still couldn't see him clearly and he muttered an," alright you win- I'm up, I'm up. I'll save dying for a work day..." He muttered tiredly.

…...

I looked at the clock as I reminded myself of the dream above the surface. It really was a wonderful dream. I had a new family, I was back on the surface and a lover...the man behind the door who knocks. I roll out of bed and sigh, realizing this room was way too small compared to the room in my dreams. I shuffle to get dressed and softly release a sigh. If only I could sleep more maybe then I'd get to see him. The man in my dreams. If only it was possible.

Compared to the dream I had. This mornings events seemed rather empty and even less fulfilling than I had grown accustomed to. I went through my daily motions, as normal the dream still lingering in the back of my mind as I worked. Finally at lunch, I had my afternoon chat with my child. It was once again followed by watering. Then the new highlight of my day, jokes with the voice behind the door.

I blushed lightly as we talked, still remembering the dream I had the other night. Oh lord, I dare not tell him, it was too personal and almost lewd of me. Besides today marked the first day we talked- really ineptly talked.

" Knock knock."

He paused, it filled me with excitement because now...He was pausing for me.

" Who is there?'

It made me giddy because I could hear it in his voice, he was waiting for me to respond. It was our greeting now. Knock knock, who was there. Heh...It made me so happy, because for the longest time no one needed me...until he knocked and now he expects me to answer. Oh I haven't felt like this in a long time. It made me feel young again.

" Adore."

Ah an oldie but a classic, I contain my giggles." Adore who?"

There was a pause," Adore's between us that's why I'm knockin!" I could not help but laugh aloud as his laughter swelled and mingled with mine. I looked at the door as we both calmed down. His voice came through, albeit a bit muffled, the door.

" How ya doin' taday?"

I couldn't help but blink, my face growing warm at the question. How long had it been since someone genuinely asked how I was doing? I smiled back, silly as it may be- he could not see it but I am sure he was smiling.

" I am well, thank you for asking... how are you today?" I got comfortable as he spoke.

" Oh I can't complain," There was a beat of silence as we sat there. This was the first real time talking to one another. True yesterday was us going back and forth and we learned a little bit about one another, but this was different. This was an actual conversation. It felt a little stiff and awkward. I shook my head and jumped as I heard him chuckle." Heh, sorry if I'm a little STIFF on ya. I guess...I'm not use to speaking through a door...Guess it makes me seem like I'm WOODEN to ya..."

I could not help but laugh, thank goodness. I felt so awkward, but this man was amazing brilliant at ice breakers.

" Nonsense, you know I ADOOR our time together." I felt my face heat up again as he laughed.

" Heh, glad to hear that. Wouldn't want ya TREE LEAF." Now it was my turn to laugh. True the conversation was rather silly but it did wonders for my anxiety and made me feel more at peace talking to him.

" Oh how did your brother like his bedtime story?" There was a pause through the door.

" Oh Paps loves the classic Fluffy bunny." I had to giggled softly to myself, so not to insult him. I found it so wonderful how he tended to his younger brother.

" My, he must be so young, is it wise to leave him alone like that?"

There was a pause and another awkward laugh," to be honest Paps an adult...But the mans so innocent...He really makes me proud, never would hurt a fly. No fooling once a fly got trapped in our house and he sent the time trying to usher it out on it's way." There was another laugh as I smiled.

" That innocence sounds so pure...It sounds like something worth protecting.."

He chuckled again." Old lady you have no idea how hard I work to protect Papyrus..." It made my heart fill with pride, knowing there was at least one monster out there who knew to protect the innocence of another being. This also got me a little curious about him.

" Tell me have you always lived here?" There was a pause as he spoke up.

" Eh...No...I use to leave a bit further out..but it's nothin' to really talk about now." Thus began a back and forth between us.

Today marked the first REAL conversation me and him shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Lied it's totally now a romance fic! Sorry for the short chapter today


	5. The very beginnings

"Knock, knock-"

" Who is there?"

" Spell."

" Spell who?"

" W-H-O."

We both howled with laughter as we settled down to begin our afternoon ritual. I sat down and smiled warmly as we begun another, some what awkward conversation." Good afternoon, sir, how are you today?" I blinked at the loud laughter.

" Please- I am no sir, just... I dunno call me- Pun and leave it at that...sir sounds so stuffy." I had to chuckle, my, he was so casual.

" Alright...Pun," I can't help but giggle as he chuckled." You never did answer my question. How are you today?" There was a paused and amused chuckle.

" Can't complain, lady how is you today?" I blink and look down. How long had a truly friendly monster asked me that...How am I doing...I sigh and look forward.

" I am here, my friend...I am here..." There was a pause as I hear him sitting down. He sounded like he was suckin on his teeth. Then after a long moment, he responded.

" Heh...Sound like me..." I rose a brow at that. He continued taking my silence as leeway to continue." I mean...Going through the motions...I'm here too..."

I looked forward. Then carefully chose my words." It is hard to believe that you could be 'going through motions'- "I heard him give a soft if not solemn chuckle through the door, that separated us.

"…I guess that's how I want it to seem like huh…Ya know somethin' about talkin' through a door, just seems easier huh…I mean, ya don't have to deal with them lookin' atcha…or…judging how you…Not seeing a face is just easier ta spill yer guts…"

I nod in agreement and sigh," I suppose your right, and wrong." The made a thoughtful humming sound.

"Really whys that?"

I look down in thought and bit my lip searching for the words to explain," Well even if you cannot see them if it is someone you grown to like of, it is still really hard to talk too."

Another thoughtful hum could be heard through the door as I heard Pun shift," I suppose your right. Guess it's both a good and bad thing then huh…" I looked down in thought and debated on actually speaking to him, on a more personal level. In the end, I decided not to. It was still too early in our friendship to burden him with my past. That being said, I did want to show I, myself, was supportive if ever he needed it.

"You know…If ever you need a friend to talk to, I am only a knock away." I could hear him chuckle behind the door as he spoke back to me.

"Me too lady…Me too…So then besides being here up to anything fun behind that door?" I blushed and looked down in thought. I breath out a sigh and had to smile to myself.

"So then, besides being…here what have you been up too?"

…

Instead of our usual back and forth with jokes, for the a while we just talked. Some fun things to lighten the others mood. Mainly funny stories to pass the time.

I don't remember a time I laughed so hard.

"So here I am right, didn't know what was going on, I walk into the kitchen when the pot explodes- my brother and his friend are silently freaking out as he looked down at myself. I'm covered with noodles and spaghetti sauce. They look ready to bolt, my brother himself ready to jump out the closest window. I swear to god, it was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in my life, I wish I had a picture of it.

To be honest at the time I felt bad I mean, he was only a kid and she herself was pretty young so I just grin annnnnndddddd." A pause as I hold my laughter for him to finish. "I say to them, 'Welp- guess dinners on me!"

I howled with laughter- both of us laughing so hard, my sides hurt and I couldn't breathe but I didn't care. It wiped a large tear from my eye as I tried to catch my breath. I could hear him doing the same. It didn't seem fair he always told funny stories. When there was a lull in the conversation I decided to tell one of my own.

"If I may, pun, I would like to tell a tale of my own." I heard him chuckle, I wonder what it is about me that amuses him so.

"Alright lady, shoot."

He always had good stories to tell and was so funny too. I desperately wanted to, emulate him, at least in the sense, of making him laugh or giving him something interesting to hear at least. Now that I thrusted myself into the lime light, I felt strangely shy. What could I tell him, what could I say. I begin slowly.

"Well what about the time I had to fish my husband out of a stream-"

"Oh so your married?"

Stupid. I look down and softly sigh, being with him, made me forget for a moment WHO I was. "No…At least no anymore- he has not fallen or anymore…" There was a pause. I felt sadness, and anger build within me. How could I forget something so important? I wanted nothing more than to simply run away from the conversation. I had ruined it.

"Ya know lady…this isn't any of my business…But…Eh…I'm sorry I'm no good at this…heh… What ever happened, I'm sorry that it went down…"

It was strangely nice to hear an apology, but it was unwarranted nor necessary.

"Oh please do not be sorry. It happened long ago, and am a better person for leaving. Or at least in my heart I am." It is true, I feel like I did the right thing leaving Asgore, I do not regret what I did. Still, it hurts sometimes to think the person I loved for so long could leave me. Could do those things.

An uncomfortable silence fell over us, once again I feel it is my fault. I almost wonder if he left me to avoid the awkward place I have put us.

"….SO then, lady, tell me about this rescue mission- was the guy big or small? I want a good mental picture here."

I smile to myself and mouth a thank you, he truly is someone different, perhaps the underground has changed for the better.

I look down and to this day I do not know what possessed me to ask but I soon find myself asking.

"Before I tell you my story may I ask you a question?"

"Sure lady shoot."

I find myself gripping my knees as I tremble, why am I so scared or nervous? "How do you feel about the barrier…or for that matter king Asgore….?"

"Eh?"

I look down as I felt a wave of foolishness wash over me. "I am sorry…Perhaps I should not have asked of you…."

"Not a question of askin', just more or less surprised at the question…I guess…Well I ain't a fan of the barrier, don't get me wrong, and as for the King…I don't know him personally so I can't tell ya if I like 'im or not."

I feel frustrated and was about to say something else but he pressed on taking my silence as leeway to continue.

"And if you're asking me how I feel about the souls needed to break the barrier…Ehhhhhhhhhh it's one those grey areas for me- I mean yeah we NEED the souls but…I don't like the idea of killin' doesn't appeal to me. So I wash my hands of it. I mean…I don't think we'll ever get out so why bother…"

I feel a mixture of emotions. Some relieved, happy almost, but sad and frustrated as well, but the one that is strongest is concern.

"Are we really that hopeless?"

There was a long pause then a clear of the throat and an awkward chuckle.

"Lady, maybe we should think of something else. Now about that fishing for husbandos?"

He changed the conversation, so I did not press it any further.

…

Soon enough it was nightfall, some good jokes and stories between us to pass the time. I now looked forward to tomorrow, and the next day and so on and so forth. He has really turned my afternoons and evenings around.

We bid each other good night. Then I returned upstairs to start dinner.

It is funny is it not.

Never before had I felt this excited to joke and talk to someone in the manner I had come accustom to. He is certainly different, but a good person and I am thankful to have made such a nice friend.


	6. Starlight talks

My rein as Queen only lasted a day.

The human is gone, they made it to the surface. Asgore is dead, as sad it was and despite the anger I feel for him, I do hope he rests in peace where ever he is, and that his death was swift and merciful. We've lost all the souls we've accumulated so far so we are back to square one- hope to get to the surface is dwindling.

When I resumed my control of the throne, I tried to instill a new law to govern over our underground kingdom, no human shall be harmed should they fall down below. It was met with resistance- especially from the captain of the guards. She opposed me, with a show of force, but I stepped down. Fighting would get us nowhere. On top of that, she didn't really want to fight me, I saw it in her eyes. She was a child that was lost and confused, and hurting. She was looking for someone to lash out at. Someone to hurt as badly as she did.

I could not allow that so I stepped down peacefully. Walking out with my head held high but quietly all the same. The underground had changed so much since I had been away, everything looked so older and different. Alas their thought process was still the same. Harm humans to get what they want in the end…I never should have left the ruins…

I got closer to my ruin door when I heard the sound of footsteps following me. I stopped and turned, no one in sight. I sigh and stood still speaking aloud.

"Whomever is following me, kindly stop, I shall not fight you. I have peacefully abdicated my throne to empress Undyne- the Undying…."

Slowly from the shadows a monster walked out, I could not see him clearly, but he made his presence known.

"Heh…. Hey…I think we know each other…?"

I froze, as a small smile formed on my face. Regardless of the solemn atmosphere around us, I am truly happy to meet him in person. He parts the gloom that hangs over me as we meet in person for the first time. Then offers to walk me to my door, the gentlemonster, that he is.

Soon enough he looks in and takes in every detail of my corridor and asks to come over. Recently his brother has left home and he feels lonely. I agree happy to have some company for once. I invite him in. We spend the night together talking. We agree that neither wants the other to go without so he moves in with me. Taking up the room under construction.

It was like he breathed new life in the ruins. Making every day new and bright. The laughs we shared while talking or completing mundane tasks. The heartache we grieved, for the fallen family we both had, his relatives, my children. I am thankful at least he has his brother still, regardless of how rude he is to not call his older brother.

Whenever I bring that matter up to him. He smiles and says,' that's my bro for ya, he's most likely out livin' the dream and helpin' monsters…He's truly wonderful.' I never press him afterwards.

We share quiet moments together, like reading by the fire, or talking to one another. The strolls we take, I showed him where my darling children rest, he asked to scatter some ashes there as well, so I allowed it.

In a way we became a family. Then one day he seemed more solemn than normal. Asking for my cellphone. When I asked him why he needed it. He just smiled and said he had to make one last important phone call.

Later that evening he returned it. It seemed unused but I am sure he did something to it, he is a brilliant monster after all. After wards we spent the night talking.

I do not know what I would do had he not came into my life when he did…

…..

Another dream.

Another confusing and frustrating dream.

I mull over my thoughts as I do my rounds for the day, cleaning, working, weeding and tending to my child's resting place. Upkeep of the house and cooking lunch. Soon enough it comes to my favorite time of day. I grab my joke book and make my way down the violet corridor I have transverse so many times before.

I take my normal seat and a wait the familiar sound of tapping. It is not a long wait- it never is.

"Knock, knock."

"Aries"

"Aries who?"

"Aries a reason I talk this way."

We share a laugh as we settle down.

"Good day, how have you been fairing my friend?" I speak through the door as I hear him move in the snow.

"Ehhhh another day another pun, nothing new- you?"

I sigh. "Nothing new, I am very much the same…"

We pause in silence as I for once strike up a conversation.

"May I ask you a question?" Without waiting for a reply I hurriedly ask, "Have you ever dreamed vividly?" There was a strangely long pause once I blurted out my question. I feared he walked away or something.

"Hello di-"

"No…. I'm still here…Just trying to find a way to answer that…why?" I blush, then look down. We are still new to one another, how can I tell him I am having dreams of us together. As friends or lovers, looking at this dream it Is up in the air, but the other was pretty clear.

"It is just a question. I've been having very vivid dreams…They are nothing to speak of really." I add hastily as he mulls over my words.

"I have them a lot, I just don't like thinking about them…."

Oh, how silly of me to remind him of something that he wants to forget.

I look down and blink smiling as I face the door more.

"What do you like to do for fun, we always speak of past stories or funny anecdotes, but we have never really spoke of what we ourselves like to do personally."

There was a surprised grunt and a chuckle.

"Well…Let's see…. Hmmmmm, never really thought about it before. Well, I like science some could say I'm a bit of a buff with it-" AH-HAH! I knew he was brilliant! "Ya know I like jokes and the occasional prank or two. What else, I like reading, ketchep… My brother." He chuckled as I blushed.

"Is that all?"

There was another pause, "I love Astronomy." I widen my eyes a bit it is a surprising answer to say the least. As if he could read my thoughts he spoke up hastily, "Hey don't judge me, I've always loved studying stars and constellations…"

"No, I did not judge you, if anything I find it rare that someone would take interest in something like that."

There was another chuckle, "It's the only reason I want to leave the underground. Look don't laugh…But one of my dreams is IF we ever get out of here, I'd like to see the stars for reals and show my brother the constellations…It's a big dream, and impossible so I don't think too much about it."

I look at the door, he spoke so passionately about it, only to end weakly, as if giving up on ever achieving his dream. I look forward. "I do not blame you for wanting to see them, they are truly a beautiful sight to behold."

"Ya sound like your speaking from personal experience…"

I blush and nod before speaking up, "I am. I am a very old lady after all." I add with a weak laugh as he chuckles back.

"Yeah don't sound that old ta me…"

I sigh and look down at my hands, they tremble slightly as they rest on top of the joke book I brought along. "Trust me dear friend, sometimes I feel far older than you would ever come to understand."

There was another pause as he spoke aloud," Well, in any case you know my hobbies…but what about you, what do you like to do in your free time, other than hang out with me?"

I bit my lip and look down, hnm, I never gave it much thought. "Alright…Well, let's see…I… I am a home maker by choice, I love reading as well, I love jokes, I…I love children, I wish one day to be a teacher…" I grew solemn as I talked to him. I felt he could sense it for he spoke up.

"Heh, that sounds pretty nice actually."

…

Soon enough time slipped by and we parted ways. It was getting late, I had to fix dinner and he had to tend to his younger brother. I made my way down the hall and smiled. Today had really been fun. Interesting, in a lot of ways as well.

I cleaned up around the house then started dinner. Without another person to talk to, the time passes slowly and is a bit lonely. I sigh gently as I start dinner. A simple stew, with homemade bread. As I stir the pot, I am lost in thoughts. Mainly mulling over today's events.

It startled me when I heard a faint sound. It was so soft, it was very hard to hear, I am lucky to be blessed with such fine ears. I smile faintly at that thought as I walk, towards the source of the sound. It…. Was coming from downstairs? The door- someone was knocking.

I wiped my hands on my apron and gathered my dress, so not to trip over my helm as I hurriedly walked downstairs to the sealed ruin door. I could hear another knock.

"Eh…. Knock, knock…."

HIM, wait, why was he here. I stood still stunned for a moment. It was far too late for him to be here. I walk a step closer to hear him mutter to himself.

"Geeze what am I doin…I'm sure she's busy or somethin' by now…"

I smile faintly at that. He mutters on," One more time buddy, then ya just head home…" He clears his throat." Knock, knock."

I smile, "Who is there?"

There is silence for a moment before a chuckle. "Have you forgotten me already?"

We both laugh, still my curiosity takes over. "My friend it is late what are you doing here?"

There was a pause, as if he was gathering his thoughts, or at least that is what I assume. "Heh…. yeah it is…See didn't need to go home apparently my bro's spending the night at his friends for a special 'friendship building once in a while nightly ritual.' Or more commonly referred to as a sleep over…"

Our laughter died, soon realization hit me, maybe he was just as lonely as I was. I look down at my feet as he spoke up, "Yeah so I wanted to stop by and say night."

I shift and blush, what a kind man. I look at the door as I heard the sound of him moving to leave. I have to stop him, something with in my soul compels me to speak out.

"Wait."

It stopped. "Eh?"

I blush harder, I never knew I could turn so red, nor get so hot. It felt like a faint memory to me of a bygone time, "Please do not leave just yet."

There was a pause as the sound got closer to the door, "Alright lady…I can stay."

I smile to myself. "If the cold dose not bother you, I would like to ask if you would like to stay and chat, perhaps bring something to eat?" There was a chuckle, it sounded strange, relieved?

"Hey no need to worry about me, cold goes RIGHT THROUGH ME." He chuckled, I couldn't help but laugh, I do not know why but the way he said it, it must be some sort of pun.

"Ya know what. Yes. I will take you up on your offer." I smile widely at this, "Just give me a moment to grab something to eat and maybe get a book or something."

There was the sound of something walking away. As I excitedly turned and ran upstairs, grabbing some things, a blanket a bowl of soup and bread, something to drink, my own books, the joke book included. As I head back downstairs and lay everything by the door, I look around. The door dose get chilly, and despite everything he says I do not like the idea of him being cold. So I head back upstairs get a log from my kindling and set it beside the door, hoping the heat from a controlled fire would seep through the door and warm him.

I start a warm cheery fire as I smooth out my blanket and set my food down upon it. Then wait, it is not for long. Soon I hear the familiar sound of footsteps, "Knock, knock."

I laugh, "Who is there?"

"Doris."

"Doris who?"

"Doris locked that's why I keep knocking."

We share a laugh. Then I hear rustling, a que to start eating. I take a bite and stir my bowl. I feel a new warmth, that is unexplainable. It is not from the fire, maybe the company. "So then… What is it you are eating?"

There was a shuffle," Heh garbage, or at least what my bro refers to, it's a burger and fries. Yerself?"

I raise a brow and look down at my meal. "Stew and bread- all homemade. It is nothing special."

He laughed, "Still a lot better than the c-er- Junk I eat." We both laugh. Taking another bite, I look up at the door as he speaks. "Heh, so…you said you've seen the stars before, right? They look as good as the pictures?"

I shook my head, "No, even better. There are no words to describe the stars in the sky, oh how I miss it." I trail off and finish my food solemnly. He is now currently leaning against the door. Or at least I assume so.

"Heh, sorry you must not like to be reminded of that. Have…You ever been on the other side of this door?"

I sigh and look down, "Once a long time ago, but I did not like what I saw. So I returned here."

There was a bit of silence on the other end of door, then he spoke up, "I'm sorry lady, sounds like you got dealt a bad hand…If it helps any I know the feeling."

I smile. It does. I look down and lean back taking a bite and choosing my words carefully. "Why, do you feel we will never go to the surface, last time we spoke and even now you sound…slightly pessimistic that we will ever make it to the world above us."

He was silent then spoke, "Just a hunch I have, I mean, been so long since a human fell and even if they did how do we know we'd even get up there. Stay up there, if we got up there, what's ta stop the humans sending us back of the next human to fall. No…It's better just to…Be happy with whatcha got. Who knows how long that will last."

In a way he is true, still a part of me wished him to be wrong. I look down. The conversation was so bitter now. I look at the door. "One day, when I am strong enough, my friend, I shall come through this door."

"Oh…Yeah?"

I smile he sounded interested.

"Yes, when I do, I wish to give you my name in person." The man chuckled.

"Sure me too, heck we can make a day of it, I'll introduce ya to my brother Papyrus, we can make a run at Grillby's."

I smile, it's something to look forward too.

"Is there a library in your town? Maybe I can pick up some new books?"

"You bet there is, but it's sign is totally misspelled, they like it though, makes them unique from the library in home capital, so they kept it like that."

I laugh, "How charming." We both laugh.

"We can head to the wish room too if ya like, they ain't real, but in a way I can show you the stars."

I smile. "I would really like that Pun. I would come over and make you and your brother some dinner, maybe even bake something for you both."

I look down at my plate and smile, a promise for the future. One day I would leave the ruins if only for a day and see how the underground changed.

But why stop there?

I shift and smile, "Maybe one day, should we ever leave the underground…I could perhaps join you and your brother…"

He was silent but it was not so much a bad silence.

…..

Once dinner is had we both talk, then fall into a comfortable silence. "Do you mind if I read a bit…?" There was a chuckle from behind the door.

"Sure, lady that actually sounds like a great idea, mind if I steal it?"

I laugh, "Only if you promise not to sell it." We laugh and settle down. It is nice. I look up from my book and smiled, "Would you like to hear a snail fact? I find snails so fascinating, they are so versatile as well. For food or studying they are marvelous little creatures."

He chuckled, "Guess you could say saying snail facts can help ya COME OUT OF YER SHELL?" I snort and hide a laugh as the monster continues. "What's wrong lady? Forgive me I'm a little SLOW on the uptake sometimes."

I laugh and shook my head, "Do you not mean SLUGGISH?" We both laugh hard as I lean against the door and sighed happily. I can hear him do the same.

We settle in a comfortable silence with whispers of a conversation here and there. I look up, "Say my friend, you wish to do something nice for you brother am I correct?"

There was a pause, "Yeah….? I mean the guy's always doin' great things for me, I only pay the bills and house, nothin' more to it than that."

I shook my head, by the way he talked, there was a lot more to what he did than even he saw. "Why not bake your brother a pie."

There was a laugh, "What?"

I laugh as well. "Do not laugh, I mean it, why not bake a treat for him, you do cook, do you not?"

There was a laugh once more that settled down to a chuckle. Mirth clearly heard on his voice. "Sure a little, I mean, for hot dogs and junk-" I rose a brow…hot….dog?...I shook my head as he continued. "But actual baking?"

There was a soft grunt and a laugh, "Sure! I'll take ya up on your idea…but what to make him."

I smile widely and puff out my chest, though it was unseen, "Why my children's favorite butterscotch… "

Another slip, I look down. My children…. My babies…. I bow my head, and grip the book I am holding. Had he have heard me I do not know. He made no comment about what I had said, but I feel he could sense the mood.

"Say do ya dance?"

That was such an odd question I scarcely thought I heard correctly. "Excuse me?" I croak out. He laughed, though it was soft and not malicious.

"I mean do ya, ya know dance? I'm not good at it but I know a little."

He was redirecting the conversation, for that I am grateful.

I laugh and shake my head, "I can waltz, formal dances really. Why do you ask- in fact it's such a strange question to ask?" I could not help the soft laughter in my voice as he joined me.

"Heh, I could hear ya getting down, I guess I sort of panicked and that was the first thing to come to mind."

It was sweet really. I smile wider as I hear a dull thud through the door. It gives me an idea. "DO you know waltzing?"

There was a loud laugh. "NOPE, I know how to move my body and that's enough."

I shook my head and smiled, "Stand up-"

"Wha?"

"Please, stand up, I am going to show you to waltz." There was a soft chuckle, but he stood up as well as I did. Dusting off my clothes I smile through the door. "Seeing as this is unconventional, I wish for you to close your eyes."

He laughed but the man was good to go with the flow, and it was getting my mind off my thought. He was truly helping. "Alright lady my eyes are closed now what."

I smile. "First place your hand on my hip."

"okay."

"Now I shall place my hand on your shoulder."

He chuckled and muttered, "Hope you don't have any expectations on how tall I am, 'cause I know I'll come up SHORT."

I rose a brow but quipped back," Nonsense, if anything I hope you can TALLERate how big I am."

We both stop for a moment to laugh and recollect ourselves.

"Okay, now" I hum softly." With your free hand place it in mine, for now we shall do a simple box step."

"A boa-what?"

I laugh softly shaking my head," a box step, since you are the male, you shall lead. I follow, but the moves are simple. First, Step forward with the left foot."

"Alright…"

I giggle, I feel so young right now," Now, Right foot step sideways to the right."

I can hear him stumble a little, "Lady, I think I'm doin' this wrong…" I giggle once more.

"Nonsense I'm sure you are doing wonderful."

"Says the lady safe in her home, I'm stumblin' out in the snow with my eyes closed, out in the open."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Just follow my instruction, next step, Bring your left foot next to your right foot." I can hear him move.

As I guide him through the steps I can hear his movements become more confident. Myself moving as well. Soon I forgot what ever was wrong in the first place. We both laughed as I more or less showed him the steps.

Finally, after a while we took a break. I sat down and grinned through the door, "See I told you it was a simple dance."

He hummed softly and cleared his throat.

"Hey lady…? I…I don't know what happened between your husband, or anything really…But when you are ready to talk, I'm always here to listen. All ya gotta do is knock."

I look down, my face rosy, feeling tears well up in my eyes as I smile. "Thank you…" I hoarsely whisper. "Let me say the feeling is more than mutual, should you ever need a friendly ear to listen to. I am here myself my friend…As well, now more than ever. Should we ever get out of here I shall go star gazing with you."

He chuckled warmly," Lady, if we ever get out of here I will WALTZ under the stars with you."

We sat there in silence for a while, mainly because, nothing more was needed to be said.


	7. We're friends

There were no dreams for me tonight.

Only memories, talking to him, spending time with him reminded me of bygone times when I was more than a ruin keeper. A friend, a lover, a wife, a mother and a queen. I forgot how much I missed that. Missed everyone depending on me like that, wanting me around, and listening to me. Making me feel important.

My friend, soon came over whenever his brother would not spend the night at their house. It was fun, sometimes we talked. We ate dinner together, with the door as a partition. A part of me came to resent this door, but I cannot open it. Should Asgore find out.

Regardless, whenever my friend came over, we would have fun. I was teaching him dancing and baking. He taught me constellations, and new cooking recipes. Raising his brother alone, he surprisingly knew a lot about cooking. To be quite honest, with his experience and stories, he was a proper father than brother. Even if his brother didn't really know it.

I have asked him about his occupation, he normally brushes it off as 'nothin' special' to talk about. Still it leaves much to the imagination.

He was becoming a close companion for me, even if we never saw each other's faces.

I look forward for the times he comes over and the times we spend with one another.

But…Whenever he leaves it reminds me of my self-imposed loneliness.

Most monsters are intimidated by my large stature and status as a boss monster, but he is not. Meaning I can talk to him like a normal person, laugh with him, be myself. It is rather odd to form a connection with someone you barely know, but in my heart I know it is there, small as it was it is slowly forming…and I am worried that if I was to be forward with my feelings…they would not be reciprocated…So I am content with sitting behind this door and talking to him.

Some days we talk about little things, how are days are, so on and so forth, but recently he has taken an interest in other things.

I sit on a blanket as I hear him chuckle.

"Okay, now go slower, now what's the egg yolk for?"

I smile. "It is to glaze the pie crust. It gives it that golden shine."

"Ahhhh, I see now. And that's no yolk."

I break out in loud laughter as he follows me. I lean into the door and sigh, far happier than I've been recently. He sounds so close if only I were brave enough to open the door.

"Ya okay in there?"

"hmmmm? Oh yes, thank you."

"Heh, glad to hear that." I smile, he sounds sincere. "So then I think I got it…"

I smiled, feeling a tender warmth to my cheeks. It is so nice to have someone ask that sincerely.

"Oh! Make sure to use a candy thermometer…I always have my fire magic so I know what temperature it is at all time, but for monsters without that type of magic, you need that to pre precise."

There is a long pause before he finally laughs out," the hell is a candy thermometer?"

I laugh as well, he sounded embarrass but it is not uncommon not to know what that item is if you are new to baking. "It helps measure the temperature for candies, you shall need it working with butterscotch. Had I the tool I would offer it to you."

"Heh pretty SWEET of you to offer, but in Snowdin I'm sure I can find a store that would have one- if not there the capital or Hotlands, maybe even the dump."

I giggle, how funny he was. I close my eyes as I listen to him speak.

"I think my bro will like some of these recipes, I can't wait to try them out. See what he likes."

I smile knowing I helped with that, feeling of use again. It had been so long since I felt that. "Thanks lady." I smile, feeling a warmth spread throughout me, and only the faintest of flutters in my chest.

"Please…I am happy to help."

From that moment on he was always asking me tips on baking and cooking, something nice to do for his baby brother. The latter of which constantly looks out for his older brother, mainly by maintain the household and its upkeep. Cooking food on most occasions, and working hard and diligently. I admire his brothers work ethic if anything. He sounds like a down to earth soul. I told my friend from behind the door this, he laughed and said he would tell his brother.

Days now seemed to fly by hours melting into mere moments when I talk to him. I may not know his name, but I feel I know a lot about him at this point, for someone so funny and wise, he can be cynical at times. Then fall into bouts of depression when talking, he has been so kind to me when I tend to fall into these bouts, I try to do the same. Then the more recent sitting by the door and just talking to one another if his brothers not home. I like those the most because it feels like...I am getting ahead of myself, these new feelings are overwhelming me and I must stop it, he is a friend and nothing more. I do not even know what he looks like, or even his name.

We may be close friends but we are still strangers in a sense.

This night, he was not by the door, his brother must have been home. I made my merger meal, some rice, a slice of snail pie and a little soup on the side. I follow this with a tuber salad and some homemade juice. I am in no mood for dessert this night so after dinner I clean up and head to bed early. I am strangely tired this day. Maybe just drained.

As I lay in bed, slowly darkness consumed me. I thought at first I was having another dreamless night…until…I realized I could move. It was so cold. SO very cold and dark. I saw nothing but the fast darkness the landscape had to offer. It was very unnerving. Distantly I could hear the gurgles and droplets of water, flowing endlessly.

The Waterfalls? How could I have gotten here?

I look around in the darkness, hearing the vast waters swirl and gurgle around me. Faintly in the far peripherals of my eyes I could see lights…But whenever I turned to look at them directly, they would fade into darkness. I shiver lightly as I wander blindly in the darkness. The sound of rushing water deafening as I reach out. It is…so very cold here.

I stop to catch my breath, it is so very hard to breath, as if something is restricting me from the mere act of taking in air. As I release the contents of my lungs, it forms in front of my face in the facade of a misty cloud before dispersing.

I sigh slightly," Where am I…" I wonder aloud as I looked around. I am very alone. So very alone and cold. I rub my shoulders in a feeble attempt to warm myself up. Something is not right…my magic…it is not working…why isn't my magic working? "It's so cold here…And so dark…" I speak once more to myself, to drive the silence away from me.

I trudge on alone, stopping, I am, so very tired.

I look around and call out, "Someone help me…" I feel myself losing strength as my panic slowly starts to rise, it's too dark here, the water is too loud, it is to quiet. I call out again. "Anyone…Please…. Help me…" I feel my movements getting more sluggish by the moment. Am I to die here?

I am met with silence…nobody came…

The darkness consumes me as I cry out.

…..

Heh…. This next part is embarrassing to say the least but to fully tell my story I must…go on with it. That nightmare was so real so vivid, it had me tossing and turning in my bed. I was so scared I somehow managed to tangle myself in my sheets.

I awake in a start, and because I am still in the belief I am in this nightmare realm try to stand up, only to fall off my bed. I struggle in my blankets from my half dazed panic and manage to make it to my feet. I did not help the matter at all that the lights were off for the night, making my nightmare more so a reality at best. Had I a clear mind I would have thought to turn on the light, but alas I was still captive to sleeps fog. So I did what any person in my position would do…. I ran…Scared out of my mind out of my room, almost running into the bedroom door.

I blame my sleep addle state for my course of actions, but at the time I didn't care. Once I managed to open the door, I finally 'woke' up. I panted as I felt cold sweat form on my brow. I looked around in the hall and nearly jumped a foot in the air when I saw someone looking back at me. I flicked on the lights to see, my own reflection.

I leaned on the wall to collect my thoughts and berate myself for acting so foolish. I pant and looked back at my bedroom, great a mess to clean up. I look at the stairs that are no more than walk down the hall, and without thinking make the trek over. I stop at the top and look downwards into the dark void. Swallowing thickly, I make my decent.

To this day I cannot tell you what on earth possessed me to go down to the door. But go I did. I stop and lean into the cool wooden frame. It holds solid and the coolness is refreshing, unlike the icy counterpart the nightmare held. I sigh and closed my eyes as I tiredly raise a hand and weakly chuckle as I knock.

"Knock…Knock…." I hoarsely whisper.

"Whose there?"

I jump and trip over my own feet in surprise, I land roughly on my bottom, taking my second tumble for the night and look at the door wide eyed. No…He couldn't… I stare long and hard at the door, wondering if I had imagined the entire voice when there was a soft chuckle. I felt my cheeks, no, my face grow hot.

"Whose there? Not gonna answer? Alright… Then I got one…Knock, knock."

With each knock I see the door frame shake a little. I cannot help but croak out," Who is there?" Could he really be here this late at night? Good lord what time was it? I must look a fright with my night gown and…. The door between us…My lord it must be late for me to think like this. He spoke again.

"Justin."

To the point and punctual. I rose a brow, still trying to process what indeed is going on. "Justin who?"

There was a warm chuckle as he answered, "Justin the Neighborhood and thought I'd drop by…. Ya okay in there?"

I start to laugh, I laugh hard. I laugh so hard I break down into a sob. I was so scared, and here he was…just like he said he would be. He was here…When I needed him, like I needed. I slowly crawl to the door and sob softly feeling foolish, such a child to cry from a bad dream. Yet here I was bawling my eyes out…God it was so real the darkness, so overpowering and consuming. I lean into the cold wood as I start to calm down running the back of my hand against the cold wood. He says nothing but I know he is still out there. Patient as ever waiting for me to calm down.

Once I do I look at the door, "I…am sorr-"

"Whoa, lady listen…Are you okay?"

I look at the door and shook my head, but my words contradicted my actions. "Yes…Yes I am better. Thank you."

"Bullshit." I rose a brow at this. "Like hell you're okay, look if you don't to tell me okay. Fine, but you…you don't need to lie to me. If you're not okay. Then you're not okay. I just want to help, so please. Don't lie to me…"

I grip my chest as I mull over his words, they are so sincere I wish I could just comply with what he said but I find myself reeling.

"Please…I am…not ready to talk about this….But…Could you perhaps stay with me." I look at the door.

I hear him sigh, then speak, " Of course…"


	8. If I had words

"So…are we ever gonna talk about what happened the other night?"

I look at the door, flushed with embarrassment. It had been a week since the supposed 'episode' I suffered. I ran a hand over my face. It gave me a moment to think of something. Normally I would brush it off as nothing more than a nightmare, but to my friends credit he was insistent this time. He met me word for word, he was good at picking out evasion.

I would say it is nothing.

'Not to you last night.'

I would tell him it is just a nightmare.

He says, 'Well then you shouldn't have any trouble telling me then. If it's just a nightmare after all.'

I tell him enough.

He counters, 'Lady it's buggin' ya and to an extent it's bugging me now. You were broken up last night, so it had to be bad. I want to help.'

He only wants to help me. It is frustrating but at the same time almost enduring. I lean into the door and sigh, "It is foolish…."

Once more to counter, "Then it wouldn't be such a big deal to you…" I look at the door almost annoyed. I believe I am finally at my limit to his questioning. I blow a sigh and shook my head. "Please…I do not want to talk about it."

He sighs frustrated himself. I look at the door, "Besides you have yet to tell me why you were at my door last night to begin with."

As frustrating as I am with my night terror. He is equally just as frustrating. He will not tell me why he was out late that night. He is a master of evasion and dancing around subjects that make him uncomfortable. Hence we are at a stalemate. I worry about him, and he dose me.

"Lady I'm not the one on trial here."

"As am I. I wish for us to move on from this."

There was another annoyed grunt. "Fine…at least for right now."

A victory, albeit small. I sit back more comfortable with the situation now on the backburner. We sit in silence for a while.

"So how did your brother like the pie?"

There was a chuckle, "Well It was alright…Not perfect but it would do. Though I gotta say I need to teach him, there's more to life than quiche's." He laughs as well as I. Oh how adorable. "Yeah not a professional baker just yet but it wasn't bad for a first attempt."

I smile at that. I feel a slight rush of pride getting my friend into something new. I sit forward stretching, wiggling my toes to keep them from falling asleep. I lean back as he chuckled once more.

"Heh I may think about branching out in using the oven. I dunno what do you think, dose the idea sound HALF BAKED to you?"

I howl in laughter at the unexpected pun, he laughs with me. I close my eyes and giggle as I add in, "Well it doesn't sound OVER COOKED to me." We laugh together as I close my eyes, the laughter warming my soul.

After a long bout of silence, he says something peculiar to me.

"Say lady…. Can I ask you something?" I didn't even have a chance to answer. "Ya know what? Never mind…" I look at the door and frowned.

"Is everything alright?"

He gave off such a melancholy laugh I worry further. "Yeah, it's nothing…." I hear him mumble to himself. I feel my face crease in worry.

"My friend, just as you are here for me…I am here for you…"

He was silent for a moment then I hear a gently tap at the door.

"I know lady…. thank you…. Look….Lady I need to get going…I….I'll talk to you later okay?"

I look down at my hands in worry before looking back at the door between us.

"Alright. Farewell, I shall talk to you tomorrow."

…

The ending of our conversation had me fretting over dinner. As I sat at my table, silently looking at my meal, I try to think of a way to cheer up my friend. He sounded so down, but how do you help a monster you have never really met before, physically speaking.

I push away from the table, no longer feeling hungry as I take to pacing. I walk into the den, stop then turn pacing. It is hard to think of a way to do something nice for a person when you cannot give them gifts or even see them. I yearn to take his ache away but alas, I cannot. Whatever weighs heavily on his mind, is for him to keep. And he will not let me hold his burden.

I stop, my nose starting to smoke from frustration, I may be a silly old lady, but that doesn't me I am incompetent! I smirk as I form an idea. It may not do as well as talking out the problem but maybe forgetting for a bit will help in the long run. I make a quick run to old home, it is stationed in the middle of the ruins, and return with an old weathered record player. I smile at my idea as I head downstairs. If I must I shall camp the night if only to catch him again. I set it up and touch the door.

"Knock, knock," I say firmly. I wait, no reply. I blow more smoke from my nose in frustration. Not here, sometimes he is, but today is a day he does not return for the second time. I sigh and turn, no matter I gives me time to set myself up here. I grab an old quilt, pillows a book or two and so on to make myself comfortable this night.

I lean back once ready and read to myself. Thus I spent the night camped out at the door, randomly knocking at the door. In a vague hope that he shall answer. I shuck my responsibilities this day, if only for this day. Save for my lunch with my beloved child. I shall never forsake that.

Soon I return to my camp and sit at the door. I narrow my eyes as I knock again. Nothing….I now blow smoke from my mouth ready to give him a stern lecture once he comes. I stop and laugh at my own nerve. Poor man would have no idea why I am berating him.

I lean into the door and closed my eyes. Still chuckling as I knock again.

"Knock, knock."

"Whose there?"

I smile at the door and blush, he sounded a little down. I grin, perfect, just the mood I was kinda hoping for, as strange as it may be. He is so kind and helpful. Finally, a chance to repay his kindness.

"Adore."

"Adore who?"

I blush, adore you? No to forward. "Adore between us, that is why I am knocking." An old used one, I believe we've used the best material between the two of us. Still he chuckled.

I touch the door, "My friend, how are you this day?"

He sounds so tired as he answered. "I've been better how about you."

I feel my face heat up as I cover it in embarrassment, now wondering if this truly is a good idea, but the tone in his voice gives me the courage to move forward.

I shuffle on my knees a bit closer to the door and take a deep breath. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. I feel my face glow red with embarrassment as I closed my eyes.

"Lady ya still there?"

I touch the door now with both hands, "I am, I just notice you seem down yourself. Call me…. a little old lady who worries far too much, but I do care about you, you have been so kind to me. I wish to repay your kindness- "He is about to speak but I close my eyes.

"I cannot give you anything physical to show how much I care, but I can give you words."

There is a pause, he sounded so unsure himself. "W…what are ya talkin' about…I-I mean it's really nothing lady we're friends and I just- "

I clear my throat, "And friends help friends when their feeling down."

There was a sigh, I smirk to myself, one thing we have in common more so than anything else is that we tend to keep our burdens to ourselves.

"Lady It's fine…I'm…I'm fine. "

I blush and sit right by the door, I dust off my habit. Clearing my throat and closing my eyes.

"Well then I hope you do not mind me then. Forgive me, if I am a bit rusty. It has been a long while since I have done something like this."

Another pause.

I do not wait for him to speak. I cannot, if I do, surely I shall lose my bravery, I have been building. When my children were, upset no matter what, nothing failed to bring a smile to their face quiet like a song. So with my building bravery I start to belt out a tune. It is wordless at first, but I hope he will appreciate it.

As I sing, I wonder briefly if he is there. He's gone silent. Once I am done I feel myself hot. The whole thing drove me to sweat. I look down at my habit and then the door. He's been oddly silent since I started to sing.

"The…other night…When that whole thing happened…. I…I was here…heh…more or less because I had a nightmare, I didn't want to wake Paps up so…I figured I'd just try my luck here… Silly ain't it?"

I stop and stare at the door wide eyed. Quickly I got to my knees and touched the door again. "NO!" I flinch, I had not meant to be THAT loud. "No…. No…Of course not, actually that is what happened to me that night…I had a nightmare as well. Heh…. Small world is it not?"

There was sheepish laughter. I smile, "Yeah, it is. Mine are seriously Fu-Screwed up. I uhhh get them a lot so sometimes I tend to avoid sleeping at night." I furrow my brows in disapproval.

"Advoiding the problem does not make it go away." I am a fine one to talk.

"Yeah but for the moment it makes it easier to deal with."

I sigh, "My friend you have a good point, but it is not right. How about this, I shall tell you my nightmare. In exchange you do the same? Do we have a deal?"

There was a long pause before he speaks again, "Alright, but If these dreams scare you off, I warned ya."

I smile and giggle, "Do not worry, I can deal with nightmares…With my eyes closed."

He laughs as do I.

"Alright- but you go first."

I pale a little but bravely close my eyes and speak, "Foolish as this is, my nightmare was about…being lost in the dark, alone, calling for help. It did not help me awaking in a pitch black bedroom. I kept calling out but…. But nobody came…. "

I blush fretting once more, surely he thinks my dreams are foolish.

"Wow…that sounds horrible…"

I look at the door, he sounded sincere.

"Heh…. I get alotta dreams really. Like one, where I'm in this endless hall, fighting against this…thing. It keeps trying to stab me." How awful. "Or another where I'm all alone in the underground, my brother and everyone leaves me. Or one where I'm sleeping and I get stabbed right in the chest. Sometimes I wake up trying to see if I still have that marking." Dear lord. I feel the color drain from my face. What ghastly dreams he has.

"Some nights…. I dream of someone I use to know…. Melting. They are, not around anymore, so it makes for 'fun' times in the home stead."

I frown and rest my head against the door.

"I know the feeling-"

"Huh?"

"To lose someone that is…I know how it feels to lose, someone important." Far more than he could ever know. He is silent and I hear him speak.

"I'm sorry."

I smile, "It is okay. I have found a way to slowly make peace with my past."

There was a pause then a soft, "Same here, but, I mean…No body faults ya if ya can't do it in one day. A hurt like this…doesn't go away in a day or an hour…More like over time."

I smile and touch the door, my vision blurs. Someone who understands. I feel a strange warmth bloom in my chest, moving outwards and enveloping me. I cannot place the feeling for the life of me, but it is old and familiar. It is comforting.


	9. Reset

We spent hours talking about our nightmares, to be honest it was therapeutic. I smiled as I looked up, listening to the soft rumble in his voice. I didn't realize it was so easy to speak to someone with someone when you cannot see their face. It makes me wonder what else you may speak about when there is not pressure of gauging a facial response.

"Yea, about then I woke up, messed up I know but believe it or not that's one of the tamer nightmares I've ever had." I look down and shook my head, my what horrible dreams this poor man suffers from. I sigh and feel foolish now. My nightmares compared to his are so small and petty, it is little wonder he does not laugh at me when I speak.

His nightmares are, bad things…Death of love ones, memories of family bygone and passed and just death in general. If not that a smiling Spector that harms those it touches. Truly the things nightmares are born from. I look down and try to think of a way to help.

He speaks up, "Eh, but ya know I'm used to it. It's okay."

I blink and for some reason his words upset me. "No it is not. Forgive me friend but you should never be use to such bad dreams it does not seem fair."

There is a pause for a moment I think I may have scared him off as I so often lead myself to believe but then I hear him, "Thank you, lady. I know this isn't much but it means a lot…Still thanks, it means a lot to me…. Look I'm gonna ask you something funny and ya can't laugh. I may be a funny guy but this is important…. Have ya ever gotten the feeling of De ja vu?"

I raise a brow, both at the question and the way it was delivered. He sounded so timid as if he was afraid to even ask me. I rub my chin in thought then nodded.

"Certainly hasn't everyone?"

There was a sigh, he sounded…almost…disappointed? I cannot for the life of me tell.

"Y…Yeah….I tend to get that a lot. I just wondered…Naw, it's dumb-"

"No it is not, if it is bothering you…then it is bothering me. Please…. Let me help you like you do me."

I feel embarrassed to say It aloud but I just want to be so helpful to the only person I've grown connected to in a long time. There was a pause.

"What…What if I told you those weren't De ja vu….and the dreams weren't just dreams?"

I sat stock still and looked down at my hands trying to comprehend what he was saying to me.

"What if…What if I told you all those are memories, and actions you've done before?"

"You mean like in a past life-"

"No…. Like sorta a time reset…. Look I know it's hard to grasp but…for right now let's say. What I'm telling you is the truth."

I rub my shoulders. I feel the air has gotten colder somehow. I do not like this flow of conversation.

"that…. sounds very scary…. So…. both good dreams and bad…"

"Would have happened…. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything."

He sounded so disheartened I place my hand on the door only wishing to comfort him.

"I believe you," I whisper to him. There was a long pause.

"You…. You do." It came out more of a statement than a question. I touch my chest, right where my soul would be.

"With all my soul."

Slowly the door became blurry as the room dims. The walls waver and seem to change as I call out to him the last thing I remember was his deep baritone voice calling out to me.

"Lady, you have no idea how much that means to me."

I awoke in my bed confused, that…. was a peculiar dream. I roll out of bed and shook the strange cold feeling I got as I remember the conversation I had with him right before I woke up. It was so real, like it had happened…But it couldn't have. It was just a dream.

Though one thing bugged me all day long as I went through my routine.

What he said about the nightmares and dreams being a result of resets in time as appose to just imaginations running wild as we sleep.

The funniest thing of all is that, like the dream the same thing happened we confessed about, the singing, confessions of the nightmares, it was down to the letter…only…only he never admitted about the resets. If anything he sounded slightly tired as he spoke.

"No it is not. Forgive me friend but you should never be use to such bad dreams it does not seem fair."

I frown as I got that weird sense of De Ja Vu, and recalled the dream I had this morning prior to our conversation. I waited a bit for him to continue but instead he just sighs. I hear him mutter to himself. It is heartbreaking, he sounds so disheartened. I look down at my hands, this would sound and seem odd to come from me but I take the chance to speak aloud.

"Find this funny as you may but I had a dream about us this morning." I hear a strangely flustered chuckle.

"W-What?"

It took me a second to realize how I phrased that and hid my hands in my face embarrassed.

"I-I mean since we're on the topic of dreams, I mean and not in THAT sort of nature." Oh god why is it when you try to recover from something so embarrassing that you end up making it 5 times worse AND on that topic you remember more flustering things that do not help the situation? The distinct memory of us being a quite cozy couple in one dream came front and center in my mind's eye as I spoke.

I clear my throat, if only to stabilize the situation at hand.

"I mean, I dreamt about this conversation. Us talking like this. Only…."

There was a beat of silence before he spoke up.

"Yeah?" It sounded, hopeful? I shook my head.

"Only you spoke of something else at the end of our conversation, something about a reset…. While it was eerie…I wanted to state…Even though I do not understand fully, or can quite grasp the situation. I would feel better letting you know, that is to say for my own wellbeing that I believe you. I mean, dream you would have no reason to scare or lie to me. Nothing really to gain, and I know this is silly, but…. But I just wanted to tell you. Call it…. Me being a silly little old lady. "

There was a soft chuckle behind the door between us. I feel a deep crimson blush creep over my face.

"I guess dream me must be…AWAKE to a situation, I'm not…" I look at my hands and giggle at the pun.

"Not so much awake, but aware…. The kind of awareness I wished I had when I was younger. The kind that…." Could have saved lives. I feel myself shifting, as if I am falling, but not really. I lean against the door, mainly for support.

How is it, that whenever I try to let myself distance myself from my past, I find myself struggling to keep myself above the ocean of sadness and grief. I shut my eyes and slowly bring both hands to my chest. They trembled, as I took a shaky breath trying to steady my nerves.

I need to leave, I inadvertently trigged this feeling. Memories…. Helplessness… Grief, I cannot live like this, still so fragile to talks of such thinks or allowing myself to be triggered into submission or hiding by mere words.

That being said one cannot know what it was like to lose not one or two children but seven. Seven lovely wonderful little angels, to lose a home, to lose a family. Time may have passed but the hurt is real , the hurt feels just as new as the day it happened.

"Forgive…I…I need to go."

"Wh…what- wait- "

I do not hear him, or at least what he has left to say. I scurry upstairs and collapse on my large chair by the fire. Far away from the stair well. I sink in further feeling bad for leaving in such a way. I really do, but, I cannot let him hear me cry. I cannot. Please do not ask me to explain. I just.

I cannot.

I cover my face and begin to sob, I do not know how long I have been there.


	10. I just can't

These next few days are particularly hard on me.

I do not feel the sadness I felt on the first day, just this great yawning emptiness. Simple actions are meaningless to me, such as getting change or wanting to go out. I cry sometimes, but there is little to no emotion that goes into it, as if my body is just doing what it needs to do. I do not feel sad, but I wonder what is the point to all of it

To get up and get dressed, what point is it to change, monsters are afraid to speak to me down here. They see me coming, they either get out of my way or are too intimidated to speak to me. No one comes through the ruins so a few days of none upkeep will not matter. My selves are stocked, for the time being so really there is no reason to leave.

I lay in my, cold, dark room for hours at a time. Staring absent-minded at the wall as I let my thoughts drift back and forth. They are fractured, every so often haunting memories of my own children's, not the fallen, but Chara and dear sweet Asriel's death.

Aware, had I had been more aware to what they spoke of in those silent whispers. Had I had seen those private glances between one another…. Aware, had I kept a closer eye over the both of them. Their death was my fault. Had I had stressed to Chara how much I loved them they wouldn't…...wouldn't have felt the need to take their own life the way they did…Their death was not an easy one. Buttercup poisoning is by far…. the most gruesome of deaths, maybe if Asgore and I had seen the symptoms maybe they could have been saved, but…. but we did not. We assumed it was an illness, even when I left, with my child, I still thought.

Was it me? Was I not loving enough as a mother? Was I not strong enough as a remodel. I cannot grasp where I failed, save for one area. I was not aware enough. Then Asriel gathered their body and took their soul, he crossed the barrier. He was a good brother and would fulfill his siblings greatest wish. That cost my sweet baby his life. Why? WHY did they both feel the need to do this. Why?

I shut my eyes tightly as I feel the walls begin to blur, because their mother was worthless. She was more asinine than the rest and was the most blind. She assumed everything was fine. She…I…Assumed everything was fine. It was not. Asriel's death hurt, but it opened my eyes to some truths.

Not everyone will understand a mother's pain. Not everyone will see a remodel crumble. I lost two children in one night, I wished for one or two kind words of comfort, but no. I received nothing but empty words and false sympathy. They wanted their freedom, and with both children gone. They lost it. They were in morning, but more for the chance to see sunlight again, not for my children.

I see now, my next course of action was not the correct one. Instead of leaving my people I should have given my support, but at the time, I was heartbroken. I…I was not strong enough to deal with anything other than grief. I kept thinking of them, Chara so ill so fragile against their bed sheets as they took their final gasps. Asriel's dissolving body in our throne room, dust covering my…. body...

I feel tears sting my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

You know, even now, I still smell bile and medication when I walk past the children's room, and in the flower garden, every so often I smell dust mingle with the scent of buttercups. I believe those smells will never leave me in my immortal life, nor the memories of the others who have fallen to the hands of Asgore.

He…He never had a chance to meet them, to really talk to them and understand. Many forgive him for what he did, but I cannot. Not when I had talked to them, lived with them and loved them. They became as much my children as Asriel and Chara, and it hurts. It hurts that no one but me shall know their names. I believe it will be my secret to keep for all eternity.

The patient one, who waited with me the longest.

The brave one who went out bravely wanting a way to go home.

The integral one who wished to speak to Asgore about his morel wrongs.

The perseverant one who faced great obstacles but still went on despite them.

The kind one who only wanted to help and do the right thing.

The one who stood for justice who wished to go on, and just go home.

I know that they fell to Asgores hands, he is still alive and I have never heard of them from then on. I…I allowed them to their deaths. I let them die. I try, and try as a mother but I fail on even a basic level. I am no more than I coward.

A coward. An arsine coward who is no more than a pathetic whelp. I do not deserve to morn. I abandoned my people on selfish desires and am lower that than Asgore himself. For all the hatred I have for him, for all the evil he has done. I still played a role in the deaths of seven children. No matter how many times I shall wash my hands they shall never be clean.

I shut my eyes as I curl into a ball on my bed.

I just want the pain to stop. That is all. I do not want to hurt anymore.

I feel tired of everything, tired of breathing, of moving, of living in general. I only wish for my children back. The days where they would sneak into my bed after a bad nightmare. Hunting bugs together. I just wanted my babies back to me.

I find myself moving robotically. Chara, I forgot to water Chara's…Chara's plot today or weed it. I need to go and do that now, or the weeds will overtake the flowers. I have to make sure that they are watered or the flower will die. It was hard enough to get them to bloom, without magic, harder still with no direct sunlight and even one day of non-maintenance could spell disaster for the flower bed.

Even now at my lowest I am still tending to that little grave. It is all I have left. I mean, who else will tend to the flowers if I do not.

I grab my robe, there is no need to get dressed, I shall do that later. I just need. I need to water the flowers and weed the garden. Taking a deep breath, I make the short trip to the flower bed, ignoring all else. As predicted, there is no one in the way or near me. My boss monster status scaring them into hiding.

It possibly does not help I look a frightful mess. My fur around me wildly sticking this way and that, save for the two paths of matted fur running down both my cheeks. My eyes swollen, and red. Not the warm amber color they normally hold, but bloodshot and puffy, and I am still in my nightgown and robe. But none of that matters to me. Why should it.

I am not meeting anyone important. I just want to weed and water the plants. Then go lay down. Not move. For a very long time.

I get there in record time actually, with me being the only one to maintain the puzzles in the ruins, they have yet to be re-calibrated. Getting to the flower bed I set straight to work getting on my hands and knees robotically and working efficiently.

In all honesty, I hate buttercups. I hate them so much because they took my child from me, but, Chara wished to see them one last time, and these buttercups are special. These flowers were the ones that Asriel…. Died on…. In a sad way they are together forever, so long I maintain them. And Maintain them I shall.

Crushed flowers, grass and mud stain my robe and nightgown, I do not care as I finish by watering them. I turn and head back home. The walk silent and solemn.

Once I enter the house I walk to my bedroom in the dark, but something stops me. It was a sound. I look towards the basement sighing, I do not wish to talk to him now. Strangely though I feel myself walking towards the stairs, then down them. I close my eyes as I can hear him now clearly.

"Knock, knock. Come on lady knock, knock…. Please…. Knock…. Knock."

I grunt lightly as I let myself plop in front of the door and lean into the cold surface. It feels nice against my overheated face.

"Lady please…. Answer me…. Knock, knock…."

I close my eyes and hoarsely answer. My voice raw and weak from crying and nonuse.

"Who is it."

I do not have the strength nor the willpower to answer in our familiar banter. I only wish to get him to leave.

"Heh, you're supposed to say whose there…. But I'll let it slide. Missu."

I blinked my mind not really processing what he is saying.

"Missu?"

More of his weak chuckling.

"I've missu. Lady…what happened… one minute we're talking then you go off, for days. I thought…."

I look at the door and lean into it.

"Forgive me. I have been a bad friend." I hear my voice waver, another thing I have failed at.

"Wha? Look lady I can't get in there but I can assure you taking a few days off isn't being a bad friend I was just worried about you."

Lies, no one would worry about me, not the real me and certainly not him. Just more empty words and false sympathies. I look down, my voice sounds hallow, robotic.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to worry you. I…I am feeling better now." I am surprised how calm and almost cold I sound.

"Nope, don't believe you. Alright, I've been saving these for the MTT stage but ya asked for it lady."

"Please, pun don't." I barely manage to get out before he started.

"What do subatomic ducks say? Quark." I blink and stare at the door. What was he doing?

"Did ya hear about the book I've been reading, it's about helium, and well it's hard to put down."

Why is he doing this?

"What do you call a fake noodle? An Im-pasta-nator."

What does he have to gain from all this, why can't he leave me alone.

"How many Authors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2- one to screw in the lightbulb and the other to write about the experience."

Why can't he just go away like everyone else.

"What's White and black and red all over? An embarrassed skunk."

I take a deep breath, ready to tell him that's enough, but I find myself faltering, I took another breath, then another. Soon I realize I am hyperventilating as he speaks on. Joke after joke. Like the only thing driving him on…is to hear me laugh. I look down and realize my dress is starting to get wet. I am crying again.

"Why did the old man throw his clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly."

Why doesn't he stop, why does he keep going, surly…it isn't to hear me laugh? No…It cannot be. However, then why is he here. Trying so desperately joke after joke, I cannot fathom what drives him for the life of me.

"Did ya hear the story about the annoying vampire? He was a pain in the neck-"

That one was horrible even for him, but weakly I cracked a smile. I leaned into the door and hugged myself as I laughed, I laughed so hard I was crying. Why was he doing this. Why not go away and leave me alone like the monsters in the ruins do. I am not worth the trouble.

It took me a long time before I realized he had stopped talking. I bowed my head, I scared him away.

Taking a shaky breath, I moved to stand, my legs- no every part of me feeling weak.

"Lady…ya feeling better?"

I look at the door shocked. I cover my mouth and bowed my head.

"Yes…thank you…I'm so sorry…I did not mean to worry you…truly…Thank you…for…trying to make me feel better…"

"Eh, don't sweat it. Ya okay, I don't mean to pry and feel free to tell me off. If. If I'm getting to personal…but you sound like you need someone to talk to."

I look at the door tiredly. Then down at my arms, I feel weak, so old as my body is, despite the youthful appearance.

"Yes…. I believe I do want to talk."


	11. A long overdue talk

God it felt so good to tell him.

To tell him everything.

I cried. I cried for so long and he never said a word, nor did he interrupt me unless it was to clarify something. Still He stayed silent and listened to every word I said. Silently just listening. I felt no judgement. Nor did I feel no pity. Just welcoming silence. I felt my throat was going raw yet I still continued on, as if the words I always wanted to say were angry with me for keeping them locked up for so long and now were escaping.

I barely know this man.

I do not even know his name, but somewhere along the way he became important to me. A lifeline I clung onto now, desperately. He has kept me company, we have shared our dreams, our passions, what drives us.

And now I have finally shared my past with him. I have no secret to my name save for my title and name alone. Former queen, I left out that part. I sagged at the door spent. I sobbed a little, well more or less dry sobbing, I believe I spent all my tears at this point.

I feel like…I have nothing left to give. I look at my hands, my eyes sore my fur matted where tears had run down previously. I feel tired. I feel…embarrassed, about me leaving, about the display of crying. I feel exposed, I mean…he knows everything about me. I sigh gently and closed my eyes.

"…. I believe…that…. I am…. quite finished now…." I give a weak sigh and close my eyes. Despite all this…I feel…weightless as well… Like the burden I was forced to carry for so long silently was lifted leaving me…empty.

There was a long pause.

"….. Damn lady…. I mean damn…. How…are you still alive after all of that….? You lost so much." I smiled weakly and closed my eyes.

"I believe I am quite stubborn."

I feel a strange calming peace wash over me, I welcome it eagerly. He was silent again as he tried to process all that I have told him. I look up at the door and touch it," forgive me for burden- "

"It ain't a burden…. I'm glad you told me."

I smile to myself, he speaks again.

"I…Mean ah've never lost…like you did…but…I did lose someone important to me…I worked with them, we were close- family…. We were family…Then one day there was an accident, I…I was there with him-right till the end, he…he fell down-"

My eyes widen, oh…oh no…

"But it's funny…No one remembers him, such a brilliant and smart monster and it's like he didn't even exist. It drives me crazy, like how could you forget…someone so important know what I mean?"

I look down at my hands, I have no words.

"No one, knows about him but me…No one grieves for him but me…No one remembers such an important monster…But me…How can people forget someone so important?"

I look at the door and touch it.

"But he has you- "

"And I'm sick of it- sick of being the only one who remembers everything. Why can't I just forget like everyone else. What's so special about….me…" He sighs and I hear him shift. His voice now closer I believe he is leaning into the door," this is just too much. I just want to sleep and get this over with. I mean what's the point…"

I look at the door and rest my head against it silently. It seems I am not the only one with things to work out.

"Doesn't matter you'll just forget this anyways…"

I widen my eyes and snort. "Of course I will not! What you tell me is important. Everything you tell me is important. I could never forget about what we talk about. You've been very kind to me."

There was a bitter laugh.

"I get whatcha mean lady, and I believe you but…. I know better. Something always comes along…"

I snort aloud and sit up, my eyes feel heavy and I am so very tired. Yet as I look at the door and listen to this monster bear his thoughts to me, I feel a strange wave of determination. I scowl at the door as I try to think, "My friend…Let us make a vow to one another, no matter what- no matter how many times we may say the same thing…Should we ever need it, we shall tell each other what upsets us. Whatever happens here stays between us and this door…Deal?"

There was a long silence before a soft, tired chuckle," Deal…"

I lean my head into the door as I hear a soft. "Ya know the other day I had a nice dream, first time in years…Weird huh?"

I chuckle as I feel my eyelids grow heavy. I bite back a yawn, feel myself falling further and further into a sleepy haze. All the while he spoke, of things he's been worried about, family, friends mostly. One who made a mistake was trying to fix it and of his younger brother. I see now why he is so protective of him, to loose someone so close to you right before your eyes…He is far more vigilant than I should have been.

Before I knew it I was asleep, for the first time in what felt like years when it was actually a night or two.

It was a few hours before I woke up again.

My back was sore for the position I was sitting in. my legs were numb- I had a headache and my eyes were sore and heavy maybe even swollen from how much I had been crying. I frown as I sit up and yawn. I blush with embarrassment. To fall asleep when someone is talking to you, he is most likely gone by now as well. I sigh and gently pat the door.

"Sleep well lady?"

I jump, he…was still there. I clear my throat, my voice is a little horse.

"I thought you were supposed to say who is there?"

There was that chuckle I had grown so fond of since his first knock.

"Alright, whose there?"

It was my turn to chuckle as I shift into a more comfortable position and lean into the door, if nothing else to hear his voice a little better.

"Tanks.."

"heh- tanks who?"

"Tanks…for everything…" I smile as I finish, I hear him softly chuckle.

After words we said nothing more. Nothing more was needed to be said. We just sat there, silently enjoying each other's company. Or at least Me enjoying his. I close my eyes and try to imagine hearing him breath, taking in air and softly letting it go. I wonder what he looks like. Before never really giving it much thought, but now…I do not know. I let my mind wander.

Well it would never hurt to ask. "W…what do you look like?"

I feel silly for asking, I've talked to him for so long and to only now ask feels rather funny. I hear him grunt and shift from his position.

"Well…hm…how do I describe myself…what do you look like?"

I look up and chuckle gently. I stare up to the stone ceiling above me and lose myself in thought, if only for a moment.

"That is a rather difficult dilemma- Oh I have it, how about if we try to guess what each other look like?" After the heavy few hours we put each other in a few hours of joking would do well to lighten the mood if only for a bit. I hear him laugh and speak again.

"I'm game…who starts?"

I sit up," I believe since I ask I'll be the starter…Hm…do you have dark eyes?" I blink as he laughed, almost on the verge of hysterical, I do know understand what is so funny but it is infectious. I find myself laughing as well as he speaks up.

"Oh yeah lady- trust me I have dark 'eyes'. Hmmmm, you made a tall joke once, you tall?"

I chuckle and nod before catching myself, "Yes, more so than even normal monsters…I take it you're not all that tall? Please forgive me if it comes off as rude…"

There was another chuckle as he speaks again," None taken and yeah- I'm a bit of a 'sight' for 'short' eyes." I break out in my own laughter. I feel something bubble in my chest, something I haven't felt in a long, long time. " Let's see…Hm…Nope I'm done-"

I blink," whatever for?"

"well for one…I want to see you with my own eyes, two I can't bring up a mental image that could do you justice, three and most importantly, no matter how I phrase my next question- will come off as rude and insulting to my friend and I'm not about to do something so dumb on purpose like insult a lady."

I blush and smile. Touching my chest as I smile at the door. He is truly something else.

"Very well my friend, we shall not go any further…I only ask one thing, that no matter what we stay as good friends."

There was a long pause before a soft chuckle rung back to me.

"Good friends, naw best friends."

I smile, for the first time in a long time lighthearted and content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long- I'll try to do better- heads up we're getting into real romace soon so if your iffy on the pairing I loved having you now your free to go.


	12. Twas the fight before Giftmas

For the longest time, I have felt a need I cannot describe. For a while when I was with Asgore that need was fulfilled, and I felt whole and happy. Then we gain Asriel, and Chara. I never felt alone nor unwanted just complete and content with my life.

Then I lost them, both children in a span of a day, and then Asgore as well. Soon a yawning emptiness soon entered my life, as if I were missing something, and I could not guess what. Speaking with this monster, this man has reminded me what it's like to laugh, to feel real emotions beside the mundane and common. To actually push myself to do more and to feel better…I cannot describe what he has done to me as a whole, and for me but I am grateful for it.

Now I believe I know what I am feeling, I miss being wanted and loved. I miss being loved, and loving something in return that can give me that satisfying feeling. At my darkest when I felt alone, and unsure of everything around me and he was there.

Oh…

Oh no…I do fear I've developed a crush on this poor man. I mean really how could I not, he has been there when I have been at my saddest any my happiest- to lift me up and to bring me around…. But…. But I am I realist, one must be to live the life I have.

He is out there, with a brother. He works hard, and asks for little in return. He never expects much more out of me only a joke in return for the jokes he gives.

I look up at my ceiling as he lay in bed and contemplate these feelings inside me, I have not felt this way since I was so much younger- hundreds of years younger. I sit up and huff shaking my head. How do younger folks do this? I let myself flop back on my bed as I close my eyes. I can hear his laughter dance in my ears as I smile to myself and imagine him sitting outside. I care not for his looks but his very soul. Such a kind and kindred spirit.

My kind and Kindred spirit.

How I long to scoop him up and take away his hurt, and hear not but his laughter always and forever. I roll over on my stomach feeling my face heat up, listen to me- I sound like a teenager.

I close my eyes and let my thoughts waft back to those dreams I had of bygone mornings, in bed with my perceived lover and whispering sweet nothings to one another as we lie beneath the sheets, proclaiming our love for one another- I must stop this.

I force myself to sit up and glare ruefully at the clock, back from my noon chores and soon enough he shall be here. I sigh and run a hand down my face and push myself off my bed. I cannot dawdle or I shall miss him, and I have dearly come to love our conversations. We are 'Best friends' after all…Oh how I wish it were more.

I walk down my hall, down the stairs another hall and up to the stone door. Taking a careful seat on the stone flooring, I await, which is never long for the familiar.

"Knock, Knock."

I smile, he has a chuckle in his tone, he is in high spirits today.

"Who is there?"

"Police."

I chuckled as I sit down and look at the door trying to build a figure to the voice outside the door.

"Police who?"

"Police open up its freezing out here."

We laugh as if there is no tomorrow. I sit back and sigh as we calm down, "Lady I'm glad your sounding better." I hold in another sigh, what a thoughtful monster. "To be honest it broke my soul to know you were upset." I feel my face light up as I speak.

"Oh yes I am feeling oh so much better thank you!" I hear that chuckle I've grown to adore and scoot a tiny bit closer to the door, now leaning into it with a warm sigh. I listen to him and allow myself a shy smile. If anything I can indulge my schoolgirl fancy without him being none the wiser- after all…I'm…nothing to be admired…He's different though.

I close my eyes and seep in his voice as he spoke aloud. "Heh, don't mention it…" His voice sounded a bit closer but maybe I am mistaken. "So uh…what's new on your neck of the wood?"

I look down and place both hands on my lap as it metaphorically and physically twiddle my thumbs in thought. "Not much my friend- and you? Anything new with you?"

I look up as I hear him chuckle again. I smile, it never fails to bring a grin to my face. "Ehhh, not really- just you know out here same ol', same ol'…." I hear a plopping sound. Did he sit down or flop back? I shake my head.

We sit and start conversation. As this happens I let my mind wander- I day dream. It is… Nothing I would care to repeat in company but for me it is something I cannot help but focus on. I snap out of my thoughts as I hear a, "So any ideas lady?"

I blush feeling a heat rise in my cheeks, he was talking to me and how could I be so self-centered.

"I, uhhh, beg your pardon?"

There was a laugh," I asked if you if you had any ideas what I could give my little brother for Giftmas."

Oh, OHHHHHHH. I feel my cheeks turned redder as I run a hand across the back of my head, "A-Any ideas what he has been hinting too?"

There was a pause, "Well no…. I normally find what I can get him at the dump, but lately nothing good has been falling down here..."

I smile and softly sigh," I find the best gifts are home made."

I leaned back and close my eyes as I hear him say," Huh, home-made…. Home-made…. Well I know he is into those knight books I've been finding and his friend captain Undyne…"

I smile," what about a Knight costume? And you should work together- it would be a great bonding experience…"

I hear him chuckle," yeah! If anything it'll be perfect for the costume party we've been invited too, and he could use it around the house when he wants to be 'Plan his tactical attacks against the humans."

I am embarrassed once more to admit this but my line of thought Zeroed in on the last words he said, and admittedly, I got a bit more worked up than I would have liked to have been or admit too…Oh goodness. Thinking back, I feel utterly foolish…

Unfortunately, I spoke up, "What does he have against humans, they've done no wrong for him to plan against them- we should care for all creatures not attack them."

I hear a confused sound, not so much a chuckle or gasp, just a sound one would make if they were unsure how to proceed or were surprised, "Lady calm down I was- "

This…dissolved from there…god…looking back I have to admit I was not willing to listen to him had I just let him speak things wouldn't have broken down into something so foolish and petty.

"Calm down? I am completely calm, I just am a little shocked that your bother would like something so…. Distasteful, and barbaric."

There was a pause, one to this day I've come to realize was him most likely quelling his own temper…far better than I did.

"Lady I think I should head home, I don't think your gonna listen to what I have to say anymore and I'm about to say something I may regret- so if you don't mind have a nice night."

I stood up myself dusting off my knees and furrowing my brow in anger- unjustified anger- "Likewise, pun, I shall hear from you on the morrow, tell your BROTHER I said good night. Hopefully he shan't have any human hunting dreams." I added the last part, god what was I thinking, I was being petty and small but at the time the barb felt good and rightful.

"Same to you, lady, hope ya have NICE dreams for once." I feel myself flinch at the infliction and hear him walk away as I turn and march myself upstairs stewing in my own anger.

They say that hindsight is 20/20, I believe this to be true, I also, believe that living alone for so long has given way too little habits I am not too proud of to this day my friends still call me out on them…One habit being. When I am angry I try to talk myself down…. Aloud.

So with the grace and majesty akin to a Froggit hopping mad, I walk around my house working myself up more and more talking to myself.

I remember myself raving like a loon. "Calm down? I am calm! I could not be any calmer- ohhh to think that he'd let his brother play such an awful, awful game- or do something so horrendous! This is Asgores doing- it has to be- attacking humans he is the only…the only one I know who would do something so horrible corrupting innocent youths with his mentality. How- how! "I stomped my foot. Looking back, I can see it was a little humorous.

I start snatching up books I had left out during the day and started to…I believe the term is vigorously, clean my home. All the while spewing nonsense.

"Nice dreams- Well I never heard something so insensitive and utterly annoying and- and!" I stopped and stared pensively at the wall. I took a deep breath and rubbed a temple. "Toriel calm thy self, breath in and out. Now then there has to be a reasonable explanation for why he would allow his brother to play such an intolerable game. He wouldn't let him actually fight humans would he…."

I stop and hug the book to himself. I never asked him how he felt about humans…I wonder how he would react if he knew that Chara was…I told him about them but I never spoke aloud about them being human. I felt that detail unneeded and unwarranted. I sat in my rocking chair and looked forward.

I felt the anger slowly leave me now that I stopped to actually think. How did I not know it was a game his brother played…How did I know it was anything really bad…I should have…I should have let him speak."

I lean back and sigh, it wasn't anything to get upset about, I just let my temper get the best of me. I walked towards my bedroom and laid down. I'm not hungry, so I skip dinner. I do not feel the pull to read so I lie in bed staring up at my ceiling as I calm down. Slowly relaxing and letting logic take over where anger was once was held.

As I replayed our last conversation I feel more and more foolish. I place a palm to my face. I am an idiot. How could I let something so small become something so large. And to add insult to injury. I would apologize.

Tomorrow….

I would apologize tomorrow.

Tomorrow turned into the next day…

Then the next day. I avoided the blasted door…for a while to be honest.

And…apparently so did he. Not once did he knock at our door. Stubborn old pride was keeping me from him, and making amends. It…is quite difficult to apologize especially when you are in the wrong. Finally, I told myself that the next day I would speak up.

I would force myself to do so he was defending a loved one I understand that and I would have done the same it's my fault really.

….

Once it hit the day I went through everything with a methodical slowness. I was in no hurry to talk to him, to admit how much of an ass I was being.

Sure enough, the time came and I took my normal treck down to the door. I was early, and prayed he was not to cross with me to talk. I look down and for once- for the first time I knock.

"uh…. Knock, knock?" My voice normally strong was now rather meek and small.

To my surprise I hear a begrudging," Whose there?"

I smile widely and control myself as I speak aloud.

"Apollo."

There was a pause and then a genuinely confused," Apollo who?"

"I would like to Apollo- gize for how…. stupid I was acting a few days ago. I was petty and small and I am truly deeply sorry."

There was a long pause then a.

"Knock, knock."

"Who is there?"

"Froggit."

I blink and look down, Froggit?" Froggit who?"

"Froggit- about it."

I feel my face light up as I look at the door.

We share a laugh. Now I feel I should explain the sore spot. "I- I am so sorry- you see some of the children I took care of, the ones I loved…were human I di- "

"OH my god now that explains it- no lady don't be upset I'm sorry I should have explained, WHY exactly my brother is attack humans thing…He would never hurt anyone he'd most likely wanna befriend them, he's a stand up guy."

I smile and sit back as I hear him, I'm not sure I should believe him but with all that he's told me and how honest I feel he is I can't help too.

I lean into the door resting my head on its frame. "Still I am so sorry for snapping at you and saying such vulgar things it's beneath me and I apologize."

His chuckle warms my soul akin to the fires I set in my fire place." Lady if that's vulgar for you- then I'd hate to see what nasty is…. I'm sorry too for the crack at your- "

I shush him and we chuckle, we're back to that warm place we were before.

"Oh by the way- he loved his Giftmas gift- or party thing- we went to this costume party now he won't take off his knight's armor. I think he sleeps in it."

That is adorable, I cannot help but laugh. "I wish I could getcha somethin' lady." It was soft but there. I feel all my magic rush to my face and light my skin a glow.

I look up and look back at the door," close your eyes my friend."

"Wha- okay."

I close my own." Now then I present you with a box- it is in Giftmas wrapping paper and a bright bow." I hear a chuckle," Inside Imagine something wonderful something you've always wanted- that is my gift to you."

I hear him chuckle then he said," aww lady how did you guess I wanted this, ya shouldn't have." I giggled myself and played along.

"Well it was a hard guess but I figured it out after a while." I smile broadly as I hear him laugh and speak a loud.

"Lady, lady close your eyes now I give you a gift wrapped in well wrapping paper- it's with a bright bow the whole works." I giggle feeling my bottom lip tremble, as I laugh.

I can't imagine needing anything more. I sigh and look down feeling a new warmth seep into me." It's what I have always wanted and needed…thank you my dear friend…"

I hear a chuckle, "Don't mention it, I saw it and thought of you." He chuckles then speaks.

"Say lady. I…. Uhhh…I think I…."

I rose a brow and sat up wondering what he's trying to say, confused I touch the door.

"Yes…?"

"I uhh am lucky to have a friend like you."

It warms my soul and brings a smile to my face." I am too."

We talked for a long time until I finally head upstairs. I look at the coffee table and blink, groaning I realized in my nervousness and distraction I forgot the watering pail at the flower bed. I run a hand over my face as I mutter to myself.

Of course.

I walk silently towards the beginning of the ruins and allow myself to think back on my friendship. On my budding new feelings. I never thought I could love again. I never thought I could feel like this, wanted, needed, a good friend. It would be enough for me.

I smile as I think back to a joke my dear friend told me and hum to myself. I sway in time with the humming allowing myself to day dream to my fancy.

In private I allow myself these little things. "What's that sir? No, no I did not mean to call you sir- I mean- oh my name is Toriel." I giggle to myself as I speak aloud," what was that- yes I shall have this dance with you. You've been pra-"I stop as I hear voices, at the flower bed. I stop and walk cautiously on. No one ever visits Chara's…. resting place…

I stop at the large ruin opening and peer out, I freeze. That horrible little monster is back again, stirring up trouble again. His voice holds a hint of anger as I watch everything going in slow motion for me.

"Run towards the bullets- I mean…. friendliness pellets."

But he isn't what draws my attention.

No, no it's not.

For one brief moment, just for a moment I thought I saw…no…

Someone was in the room with that flower…it shook me to my core and kept me in place frozen in time.

What had me so enraptured so much to keep me from moving was what he was talking too.

A lone human.


	13. Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Climbs out of the shadows....Soooo....Been gone for a while....I should explain- cut net and lack of inspiration... It's almost over folks but this will lead into a really, really gooey love story OuO soooo maybe 2-3 more chapters to go until the continuation?

I stared wide eyed at the human before me. I felt my soul, no my body go cold at first glance. For one brief moment I thought they were my sweet child Chara. No…they were gone but this child did resemble them. Just…their colors were all wrong, to be Chara at least.

They wore a blue and purple jumper, blue pants, brown boots that seemed to match their hair and had tan skin. They sat in the flowerbed trying desperately to catch their breath. It was odd really, even though I had never seen them before, it felt like meeting, I do not know and old friend or an old acquaintance.

I looked at the flower and frowned, what was it doing?

He smiled maliciously. "You know what's going on don't you…" I felt my blood run cold as I realized what was going on. No…NO!

As its magic circled the poor child I had to act quickly, and while I am a bit out of practice I was still able to scare it away by launching one of my magic attacks.

I hid a snort as it flew harmlessly away with a small shout.

I walked from the door towards the child angered, my word what a horrible creature. I made this plainly clear in case the small monster was in earshot. I looked down at the small human who smiled up at me. Is it strange to make a connection to a human so small? I feel like I have done it one to many times… Yet here I am meeting another as if…meeting someone so very important again.

So not to alarm them I first introduced myself and explained where they were at.

Strangely enough they did not hesitate to take my hand.

…

We quickly transverse the ruin corridors, it was easily a straight forward step, but this child…They are something else. Easily they are able to grasp what I had to show them, and seemed to know how to do the puzzles before them without so much as a hint of my help, as if they had done this all before. I taught them about combat down here and they made me so proud, they quickly realized that they could escape any battle by talking their way out.

True we were bothered by a curious Froggit but a stern glare had saw them off. Not too far into our walk I was struck with a great idea. I would prepare a surprise for them. It had been so long since I had anyone INSIDE my house. Surely they would love it. Besides the ruins are safe enough, they would come to no harm there, after all it is under my protection.

I told them to stay put until I collected them, gave them a phone to call me in case of emergencies and quickly excused myself.

I dashed to the ruins of home market place, gathering ingredients to make something special for them. Something I had not made in a long time myself. I tend not to care for sweets but when I do I tend to do it with love and to share with another person.

Once at the market I came upon a dilemma, what would they did they prefer, a cinnamony- butterscotch cinnamon pie or a butterscotchy cinnamon butterscotch pie? Hmmm, this is the dilemma. So I decided I would call them.

The very first thing I noticed was the sound of someone walking, I sternly yet calmly and kindly asked if they were in the room still, then asked them their preference…but a strange thing happened, something popped so ever present in my mind I could not help but state it first. It was so odd I had to comment on the notion. It was like. I knew them.

Still I could not be detoured, I made my purchases and quickly headed home.

…

They are…an interesting child- after my phone call they kept calling me- sometimes they called to say hello- a lot, but to be honest, it was all in good fun, it was adorable actually.

They…they called me mother. It was sweet and endearing…it made me feel…whole once more.

Then they called to non- stop flirt with me- they are an odd one, but I sense a kind sweet gentle soul within them. I would call every so often to check up on them or to give them a bit of advice. They were after all a child still.

Of course all that ended when a strangely annoying dog came and managed to get my phone, oh well I would worry about that later- I had much to do here at my house.

I cleaned up, making the house spotless, lit a warm and inviting fire to fill the house with warmth and cheer. Then I headed towards a room I had not been in since…. The last child to come through my doors. It was as I left it those many years ago. The only real change was a fine layer of dust on everything, a bit of organizing, remaking the bed and light dusting and the bedroom was complete. Nothing bad would come to this child I would make sure of it.

In my efforts to make this home more hospitable to my soon to arrive guest I had completely forgotten about my friend from the other side of the door. I jumped as I heard a familiar knock from downstairs. I turn my head towards the source of the knocks and let a wide smile cross my face.

I quickly make my way down stairs so not to miss my friend.

"Eh…Knock, knock lady?"

"who is there?"

"newspaper from yesterday."

I chuckle oh a new one," a newspaper from yesterday who?"

"Never mind its old news." Him and I share in a good laugh before calming down. I felt my heart feel full, fuller than it ever has been.

"Hello my friend how are you?"

He laughs and speaks aloud," eh good today how about you lady?"

I feel so giddy I must tell someone.

"I found a child today!"

There was a long pause from behind the door, so long I took a moment to worry he left," hello are you- "

"You… found a kid?"

I nod, and then chuckle forgetting he cannot see me. "Yes! In the ruins a child wandering around, oh they are so adorable and strange you would like them so dearly my friend they seem to share your sense of humor on some points."

He chuckled, even though it was weak, it was concerning. I spoke aloud," are you alright?"

He chuckled again, it sounded…not right, like it was…forced.

"Who me? Lady I'm fine what are they like?"

I quickly explained finding them in the flowers, though I left out the fact they were human. He would never need to know about that detail, then our trek here…. I trailed off and buried my face in my hands," I must go!"

He sounded so confused," eh? Why?"

I quickly gathered myself up and took off yelling over my shoulder," BECAUSE I LEFT THEM IN THE RUINS!" What with talking to him, preparing the house for them, and everything I had completely forgotten about them being left in the ruins alone for hours. I felt so embarrassed. I manage to get my phone from the dog, made sure that the pie was set to bake- it would only take a moment to get them than I ran out the door.

As I step out of my house to collect them I send them a phone call, I stop hearing it ring close to the tree in the center of the yard. Surely I did not leave them alone for so long for them to find their way to my home. I rush over to see them right under the tree. I am shocked to see they made it past everything, the traps, the other monsters, without so much as a scratch on them. They seemed so proud of themselves to have made it so far, alone.

I comment on this then leave it, I feel so excited. In my rush to get everything ready I came to a decision. I would keep this human as my own child. I would make this work. I would have to, for their life, for my life.

I smiled as I lead them inside and surprised them, allowing the scent of my freshly baking pie to wash over us. I could not help but smiled as I noticed the look on their face…it was hard to describe. Then I lead them to their next surprise, to their room. We stood in front of the door, not daring to go in quite yet. I felt happy and for the first time in many years. Like a mother again. I let my hand roam over their head, a feel for affection. They were my child now…I would let no harm come to them like the others.

I quickly turned my head smelling the pie- I was worried it might burn so I took off to make sure it was alright and let them explore in the meantime. It was rather adorable to see their eyes light up as they walked around and explored. They didn't leave anything up to chance, I had to stop them from entering the stairwell, but I let them explore my room. I have nothing to hide and I am sure they would respect my privacy.

All the while I sat in my favorite arm chair, the pie was fine by the way, and gave them distance but ever a watchful eye on them.

Finally, they stopped at the door. Their door.

I did not force them to enter- it was their choice but I did find it odd however how they just stood there for a moment staring at it as if they knew something about the significance of that room. Huh, but that is silly, is it not? They have never even been inside that room for them to feel that way.

I shook it off as they walked inside. I went back to my reading, if only for a little while.

 

It was some time later when I realized they had yet to venture out of the room. I was a little worried so I got up to check on them. I quietly peered into the room and felt relief flood my system as I found them sleeping on the bed. I paused at the door and smiled as I headed out going towards my kitchen, getting a slice of pie. I headed back to the room and silently slipped in, making sure they were tucked in, I barely know them but I feel such a warm connection to this child as if they were my own magic and fur. I tenderly stroked their heard. Turn off the lights. Head back to the door, but stopped, silly me I had almost forgotten the most important part. I carefully and silently set down a nice thick slice of cinnamon butterscotch pie. It would be there for them when they waked.

I walked out towards the living room and sat back down in my chair, my heart felt so full, complete.

 

….

 

It was sometime later when the little one came from their bed room. They had a strangely solemn look on their face. I felt the warm smile I had weaken. It was an odd look for one so young and gave me an odd sensation of fear. I felt the need to console them, to let them know how much it means to me to have them there with me. To be…my child, how our future will be, the fun times, baking, teaching, bug hunting. Silly I know but what came next only confirmed if not heightened my sense of fear.

'When can I go home', they asked.

I was shocked, did they not realize that they were home? They cannot go back out the barrier would prevent that, and I will not let Asgore have this child, not another one. I looked at them in shock and reminded them calmly this was their home now. That bedroom was proof of it. I had made it up for them. No I would not let this one go. So I tried to distract them with a snail fact. They politely listened but still asked once more.

'How do I exit the ruins?'

They were determined to leave. I stood up," I have to go."

Not again I cannot let this happen again, and I will not let this happen again. I promised, I will not let this child die like the others…Like my Chara.

They followed, inside me I felt a small pin of anger, and maybe hurt.

"You wish to know how to return 'home' do you not?" It came out more spiteful than I meant. I did not mean to sound so cold to them but as they followed, as they moved with a certain determination to leave I could not help but feel so…. I cannot describe even to this day. I would stop them no matter the cost.

I speak cold, robotic. Truly this would be their first, 'TRUE' lesson here," Ahead of us lie the end of the Ruins. A one-way exit to the rest of the underground." And a one-way path to Asgore, a monster who would do nothing more than kill this poor child if only they would know what was coming. No, no they would never know, it would never come to that.

"I am going to destroy it. No one will ever be able to leave here again." I will protect them. I do not want them to see this." Now be a good child and go upstairs."

I walk on down the corridor, but they are stubborn, still they follow me. Perhaps I am not making myself clear what I am doing for them. I see no other way but to tell them why I am sealing us off from the other monsters of the underground.

"Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again." I feel my vision blur as I speak not looking back at them," They come. They leave. They die." The last sentence pierces my heart. Memories of these lost souls come bubbling back, but rather than bring pain it feels me with my own sort of determination.

"You naïve child…. if you leave the ruins…They…Asgore… Will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand?" I hear a small plea in my voice, despite how stern it sounds," …. Go to your room."

I walk on hitting the final corner as I hear them follow." Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning."

I walk ahead, yet still they follow.

I make it to the door and touch the seal. My heart freezes as I hear a familiar knock on it." Knock, knock."

Not now, surely not now. Why would, I laugh softly sadly, why now, that is simple…he has always been there when I needed him, and now more than ever I need this monster. This friend…this person whom…. Whom…. Whom I have come to love.

"Who is there…."

"A broken pencil."

I weakly laugh, normally I would be giddy, happy to trade jokes only right now I am not in the mood to joke.

"Never mind, it's pointless."

I force a laugh, he notices." Say lady are you okay?"

He is different, he has got to be, he is. The way he cares is so new and refreshing. This human will try to leave. Should I fail…. should I fail. I feel my eyes burn as I close them and rest my head against the door. I feel a sob in my throat as I speak to him. Please oh lord let this monster not fail me like so many others. Let him be the one true friend I have left underground.

"If a human ever comes through this door…." He has to be different. "Could you please, please promise me something…?" I take his silence as a nod to continue on. "Watch over them, and protect them…. Will you not?"

I wanted so much to cry. This was foolish… This human was their end goal a way to the surface there was no way.

"I promise lady." I look at the door in stunned silence. Had there ever been a moment I was sure of my feelings now was it. He was not Asgore. This monster. No this angel…was my one and only hero.

I hear them approach. I turn my head slightly, I see determination burn in their eyes, they are so eager to leave so be it. I shall show them what awaits out these doors should my friend fail.

"You want to leave so badly?" I grunt and sigh in disapproval. "You are just like the others." I feel my magic course through me as I felt a fierce wave of anger wash over me." There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself…. Prove to me you are strong enough to survive."

I felt a familiar tinge in the air beginning a battle bringing us to a created plain just for fighting. I ignited my fire magic within my hands ready for battle. To save them I would show them what awaited them on the other side of the door.

 

They seemed to be ready for me as I started my attack.

They were skilled I shall hand it to them, they seemed to know just when to dodge and when to move in time with me. I was expecting them to attack me- to fight back as I had wanted…. but they were not like that.

Each time the flow of battle, turn to them they would either try to act or spare. In some aspects I am proud of them for using what I had taught them…in others I wish dearly they had the gall to fight all out. Regardless no matter how many turns I took they refused to lift a hand to harm me. Trying to talk me down but mainly sparing me.

There were even a few times I was sure I dealt them a dying blow. Surely it was all a dream, I mean how could they fight me if I had finished them off.

They, in turn wished to end the battle as soon as possible, peacefully as possible…

I would have none of that, at first, but as the battle raged on I found myself slipping more and more. Soon growing desperate. I was on the verge of begging and pleading for my child to stop. To head back upstairs and forget this nonsense of leaving me…But I saw it…they were too determined to leave.

It was through the flow of battle I saw…this was wrong keeping them here was wrong, I knew it but…But if they only listened…if they headed upstairs….no…It was not my place to make them stay.

Once they spared me for the last time, I ended the battle. I failed. My heart was not strong enough to fight to the death, to continue a battle in the wrong. No, I would have been just as bad as Asgore should I have.

For the seventh time I broke the seal on the door leading out of the ruins. I told them I would not stop them should they wish to leave.

But for my sake and theirs they were never to return to the ruins. I knelt down once more and hugged them. They hugged back tightly, I committed this to my memory another child lost. I stood up, bid them farewell, then headed towards the stairwell. I stopped and looked back at them one last time feeling my vision blurred. It is odd to feel a connection to one you only knew for a little bit but it was there. I wanted to run, quickly turning on my heels as I took off down the hall. I looked over my shoulder briefly. Seeing the door open.

The icy air of the snow forest billowed in, quickly chilling the walls and cement floor. I looked ahead. I only saw a glimpse of it, but the foreboding forest path surely would off put them to leave, yet still they pressed forward. I reminded myself at least my friend would keep watch over them where I could not. Yes, surely my friend, my hero would take care of them. Keep them on the good path and protect them from Asgore…He had too…He just…had too he promised me, he would.

 

I sat in my chair in silence for a long time. Not moving or really anything of the sort. Just staring deep into the fire as whispers of laughter echoed down the hall, bygone memories playing in my mind- manifesting into auditory hallucinations and in my state I allowed them to be so. I could hear Asriel laughing, my dear Chara asking for another slice of pie. The singing of other children, whispers.

The time I was called mother. That moment is over now. I sit in a silent home now. Daydreaming of those long lost days.

**Author's Note:**

> Totally lied this is a ship fic- soriel hell everybody so be prepared for mushy lovey goodness!


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